MAD AS FISH RSMs

#1
Why is it that the majority of people claim to have seen an RSM jail a pace stick for falling over or a bike 'cos the chain fell off?
Is there a mental hospital out there with hundreds of ex-RSMs trying to jail sh*t?

Anyone got any original anecdotes of RSM behaviour?
 
#3
Probably not in Blairs New Model Army, but back in the Good Old Days, Mad as a hatter, RSMs or RCMs where two a penny.
john
Godfreey Cass, RCM Detmold Garrision, early 80s, now there was a player.
 
#4
Bill Riley (The Rhino), of 1 AFA mid to late 90`s. Now he was everything an RSM should be!!!!
 
#5
Jonny C***p late of 7 Para RHA, went back as a BK, mad as a tench


I will always remember his fianl speech to the Regt when he dropped his keks moonied us and claimed there was nothing there but "2 inches of airborne fury"

Had a thing for hiding in trees and ambushing people, mostly his driver. One ex he tried to sneak up on all the positions, tried it at ours and got 3 or 4 flares fired directly at him, he was most displeased

The guy before him was off his head as well, "Mad Dog" W***h from 29 Cdo, but Jonny was a one off
 
#6
I never met the RSM in question but a friend of mine used to tell a story of an RSM who jailed himself for cocking up his drill as he marched onto his own parade.

Apparently the same man tried to jail a pidgeon for landing on his parade.

Urban legend or not I've never found out but I've always liked to believe it.
 
#7
another urban Legend!

RSM jails pkt of Jelly Babies for being "Horrible tasting"
Provo thinks it's funny & Eats them.
RSM jails Provo for eating the prisoners!

TRUE or FALSE who knows? Still funny
 
#8
bigjarofwasps said:
Bill Riley (The Rhino), of 1 AFA mid to late 90`s. Now he was everything an RSM should be!!!!
Nice fella, a gentleman and a pussycat with history I believe
 
#9
Funnily enough the Irish Guards had a lunatic RSM who was known as 'The Fish'

When I was with 2 PWRR, Gary M****W jailed all the Man U supporters on his first parade as RSM. Funny as ****.
 
#10
wellyhead said:
Jonny C***p late of 7 Para RHA, went back as a BK, mad as a tench


I will always remember his fianl speech to the Regt when he dropped his keks moonied us and claimed there was nothing there but "2 inches of airborne fury"

Had a thing for hiding in trees and ambushing people, mostly his driver. One ex he tried to sneak up on all the positions, tried it at ours and got 3 or 4 flares fired directly at him, he was most displeased

The guy before him was off his head as well, "Mad Dog" W***h from 29 Cdo, but Jonny was a one off





Don`t remember this guy, but we did have a Welsh RSM, I remember him ragging the Regiment once for being too Airborne?
 
#11
bazp said:
another urban Legend!

RSM jails pkt of Jelly Babies for being "Horrible tasting"
Provo thinks it's funny & Eats them.
RSM jails Provo for eating the prisoners!

TRUE or FALSE who knows? Still funny



QUALITY!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes I like that one!!!!
 
#12
I was attached to the Cheshire for a bit in 1998. They had a guy who`d been the RSM and got a commission, they used to call him `The Mask`, he was just totally crazy, one minute he`d be talking to you normal about the weather or something, next minute, he`d be ranting and raving at you. He totally hate me, and I must admit, I return in kind he was a total and utter sister f****er.
 
#13
Nobby Arnold, 1 Para, jailed a flagpole for not standing up straight, allegedly. I never met him, heard him mentioned many times.

"At his funeral one of the high ranking Generals spoke of Nobby stating "when I was CO of 3PARA Nobby sent me a note saying the problem is the CSM's find the Sergeants' mess too comfortable, rather than out training the men. I have addressed the problem Sir. I have removed the furniture from the Sgts Mess."

This below found on the internet, no idea if it's true;

When they stationed in Bahrain or the Trucial States (what the UAE was called back then) they were billeted in these barracks in the middle of nowhere so it was basically either desert or scrubland.

But anyhoo, the RSM (Nobby) went nuts if he saw ANYONE do anything on his parade square other than marching, saluting and general Army business.

So when a mongrel of a stray dog managed to get onto the parade square and took a dump...and when Nobby found out..

<NobbyA> CALL OUT THE GUARD! ARREST THAT F*CKING DOG!

Anyway Nobby had the guard called out, the dog arrested, thrown in the guardhouse, conveined a court martial (of the proper kind, not the mickey mouse, Abu Garabe, slap on the wrist kind) with the OC of 3 Para, found the dog guilty, sentenced the dog to death by firing squad, conveined a firing squad, blind folded the dog (after tying it to a post), had it shot and hung it from a post outside the camp with a sign "this is what happens when you defile the parade square."

He even offered the Dog a last cigarrette before the firing squad killed it too..nutter .


Nobby Arnold Tribute
 
#14
Onetap said:
Nobby Arnold, 1 Para, jailed a flagpole for not standing up straight, allegedly. I never met him.

"At his funeral one of the high ranking Generals spoke of Nobby stating "when I was CO of 3PARA Nobby sent me a note saying the problem is the CSM's find the Sergeants' mess too comfortable, rather than out training the men. I have addressed the problem Sir. I have removed the furniture from the Sgts Mess."
Living where I do I've heard countless tales of that bloke, he was truly barking!
 
#15
Onetap said:
Nobby Arnold, 1 Para, jailed a flagpole for not standing up straight, allegedly. I never met him, heard him mentioned many times.

"At his funeral one of the high ranking Generals spoke of Nobby stating "when I was CO of 3PARA Nobby sent me a note saying the problem is the CSM's find the Sergeants' mess too comfortable, rather than out training the men. I have addressed the problem Sir. I have removed the furniture from the Sgts Mess."

This below found on the internet, no idea if it's true;

When they stationed in Bahrain or the Trucial States (what the UAE was called back then) they were billeted in these barracks in the middle of nowhere so it was basically either desert or scrubland.

But anyhoo, the RSM (Nobby) went nuts if he saw ANYONE do anything on his parade square other than marching, saluting and general Army business.

So when a mongrel of a stray dog managed to get onto the parade square and took a dump...and when Nobby found out..

<NobbyA> CALL OUT THE GUARD! ARREST THAT F*CKING DOG!

Anyway Nobby had the guard called out, the dog arrested, thrown in the guardhouse, conveined a court martial (of the proper kind, not the mickey mouse, Abu Garabe, slap on the wrist kind) with the OC of 3 Para, found the dog guilty, sentenced the dog to death by firing squad, conveined a firing squad, blind folded the dog (after tying it to a post), had it shot and hung it from a post outside the camp with a sign "this is what happens when you defile the parade square."

He even offered the Dog a last cigarrette before the firing squad killed it too..nutter .


I was jailed by him when I turned a corner in RAF Abingdon wearing a 50's SAS pattern windproof smock which had a hood attached. Worse still, as I had just returned from a para sortie my wallet mit ID card was in a locker nearby. I endured a 15 minute lecture of 'wearing' hoods and thereby not hear the enemy approaching etc etc and very rapidly marched to the guardroom. This was 1970 and he was RSM of PCAU.
The constant wheeze of students attending their BPC in those days was to get his bike and suspend it from the outdoor training tower arm.
My missus who was in the WRAF, loved him to bits. He was the gentleman of gentlemen to the girls. Knobby had a 'two hanky theory' one for the top pocket and the other to dust the chair before the lady sat down. He was the bain of RAF Abingdon during his tour there. I subsequently witnessed airmen, bollocked senseless for pedalling their bike in a lazy manner.
I know of the 'squash court incident' which subsequently lead to his decision that it was time to depart from the service.
 
#17
big_bad_bill said:
When I was with 2 PWRR, Gary M****W jailed all the Man U supporters on his first parade as RSM. Funny as *.
Top bloke, he knew his stuff, looked after the soldiers and had that rare leadership quality that meant people worked hard because they didn't want to let him down.

In prep for HRH Princess of Wales reviewing her new Regiment he had a female soldier stand in for her on a practice parade. As she got out of the car and walked over to carry out the inspection GM shouted "Double in" the sight of her in Lara Ashley dress and heels doubling in had us all in fits.

Tragically that female soldier was killed in Iraq last year, but on that sunny day in St Martin’s Plain Camp she was part of a very happy Bn.

DoE
 
#18
Duke_of_Edinburgh said:
Tragically that female soldier was killed in Iraq last year, but on that sunny day in St Martin’s Plain Camp she was part of a very happy Bn.

DoE
WTF, let get this straight, I hope to **** we are thinking about different parades. The 2 PWRR review by Di was at Howe Barracks and the stand in was Sue B.....m. I've lost touch with her over the years but I'll still be gutted if she's dead. No disrespect meant if it was a different parade and a different girl your talking about.
 

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#19
Given that one has to be more barking than a barking thing to jump out of a perfectly good and serviceable aircraft several hundred feet up - to be RSM one would need to be ultra barking.

However, it would seem that RSM Arnold "type" will not be seen again in this PC army, much to the army's great loss.

When I joined my Bn in late 60's there was a tale going round of an event only a year or two before I joined (true one too) of a Saturday battalion drill parade . Very serious event in those days and ruled by the RSM with his henchmen CSMs working the Companies like sheepdogs snapping at heels (or in the case of the CSMs - ears!).

However, one Saturday the RSM came onto the square after the Battalion had marched on and said that they would play a game of "Simon Says". Orders would only be carried out if preceded by "Simon Says". If you moved at the wrong time you were out of the 'game' and sent to the side of the square. The surviving soldier got a month off duties!

Apparantly it had the Battalion buzzing for weeks; and a hell of a surprise when it was not replicated the following week, but back to 'normal'.

It was these RSMs who had real character and the confidence to be eccentric, while not losing sight of the real motive of an effective working and fighting unit. I would like to think that there are still some of that type going around, but I feel the PC way of life might be getting rid of them.
 
#20
RSM Argle and Sutherland Jocks, we 3RTR,A Sqn were on Soltau taking part in some NBC exercise. We used to rock up to debriefs in our tank and there was this RSM with his pace stick, with NBC protection. A mobile jail was available for quick jail trips. :)
 
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