MACHO MEN..GGGRRRR!!

Discussion in 'The Other Half' started by bossyboots, Jan 23, 2006.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Tonight i had the misfortune of having a blocked kitchen sink. I trotted off to get a bucket, placed it under the trap and while my head was stuck under the kitchen sink, dear husband of the ruffti tuffti soldier type decided to leave his 'riverting' t.v programme to have a snuffty at the strange sounds and general hoo ha.
    Obviously macho man upon deciding that a mere woman is laughably incapable of such complicated tasks, sets about doing the job himself! Now macho man as we know him wont be satisfied with just unscrewing the trap, oh no wot? dont be ridiculous woman and get the kettle on! Nope, macho man decides that not only does the entire plumbing system need dismantling, but also the kitchen sink, cupboard, washing machine and lord knows what other kitchen appliance that looks even remotely connected to the aforementioned pipework.
    A few choice phrases later that has mrs none macho woman blushing at her roots, he decides that the offending blockage simply must be outside! So leaving the kitchen looking like a small scale beirut, he decides, bear in mind this is 22.00 and dark, that he simply must venture outside, with a torch strapped to his head and inspect the drainage. 3 hours of digging later, by which time the garden is only recoverable by Alan Titchmarsh and co, he's back in the kitchen, looking very much like rambo, growling, sweating and basically frothing at the mouth.
    Unable to concede defeat and shouting down any suggestions of calling a plumber ( by now i'm having a breakdown and the dog has left home) he attacks the sink again with the ferocity of a jack russel with a rat. I make the mistake of saying, well dear perhaps..... before my ears are ringing with every known expletive known to man...and a few that aren't.
    Rooted to the spot i can only watch in fascination as my once beautiful kitchen is reduced to rubble by macho man on a mission! Suddenly he pops out from under the sink, after banging his head for the 50th time and holds up the trap!! which contains a few peas and some unidentifiable gungy type object.
    With a satisfied grin of a job well done he pats himself on the back smugly while giving lessons in the correct way to scrape crockey before washing up. Ladies take note, save your kitchen, garden and sanity by NOT telling him the sinks blocked, simply wait until he goes to work the following day and then call a ruddy plumber!!
     
  2. What do you expect you dozy mare, all men are practical geniuses who never need to seek professional help for any problem and don't ever recommend that we read the instruction manual first, oh and by the way the other thing that’s connected to the plumbing system is the dishwasher AKA you. If you were bright enough to know it then a sink blockage can be sorted by either a plunger, a bent coat hanger or even forming a suction cup with the palm of your hand and pumping up and down. :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

    Misogynistic rant over.
     
  3. While I agree wholeheartedly with Bennett, I must say, its little wonder he's still single.

    But that's probably the gingerness instead.
     
  4. Thats just the thing Bennet, i did use a plunger etc, and nothing happened, hence me getting a bowl to undo the trap...before macho man hijacked it!
     
  5. Might I suggest that the next time your husband tries a trick like this, that you simply get the fcuking brews on and stop gobbing off.

    I would also caution that as soon as he has finished his work, there better be some fcuking scoff on the table as well.

    Double away!!
     
  6. I did get the bews on..its there is the post somewhere, however all attempts at asking him if he wanted a refill resulted in another round of expletives. Ooh the new words i learned to try out at work is amazing.
     
  7. Easy way to get your own back, next time there is a company do casually mention to his workmate with the biggest gob and sharpest way with words "Mr Bossyboots took 5 hours to de-clog the trap the other week" Resulting in hubbie never going near the thing again ;)
     
  8. However - -If he had left you to it, you would have either fooked it up thus him having to do the same job, just later in the night, or called out a plumber which cost a bloody fortune, and he doesn't work all them hours for you to spend it on a plumber, its for him to buy drinks for his bezzers down the pub.

    All i can say is - Women, know you limits!!!
     
  9. J_D

    J_D LE

    In a weird way, I agree with you :oops: Ruin the man's ability to me a 'real man', aka anything DIY, what do you have left?

    I know plenty of guys that would through a hissy fit if the mrs won't let them run the mill!

    Rememeber ladies, the man always knows the women is the top hen, they just won't admit it!
     
  10. Good idea Grad.
    Oneshot..who do you think sorts these things out when he's away on tour or some such?.lol ( an it aint a tradesman)
     
  11. Haahaa! Nice one bossyboots. Made my morning. "( by now i'm having a breakdown and the dog has left home)" :)

    Carcass, Nihonjin desu ka?
     
  12. And who is the one who has to go around when they come back and redo all the "black nasty" jobs.....

    In all seriousness, I've got a lot of respect for women who don't mind getting on with fixing the problem rather than just b1tching about it. My other hal;f expects me to be king of DIY and go ballistic when it goes wrong, so hats off to you and what you doing here bitching when i'm sure you could be building a shed for hubby to watch sport in, or decorating or something!!!

    OS
     
  13. I realise this is probably late coming but on future occasions you might want to try unblocking the sink with a chemical agent before you start taking the pipework to bits. find that appropriately 'MR MUSCLE' sink and plughole unblocker is quite good but the best thing if you can get hold of it is the stuff that brewers and publicans use to clean out their pipes/lines. Tip it down the sink and go and have a brew or two before coming back and seeing if the blockage has cleared. - It even eats away dog/mrs hair. Always best to try the easy option first.

    Fair play to your bloke though - I wouldn't have been digging up the garden at that time - I would have supervised my wife's digging. What a gent.
     
  14. because oneshot, i was washing up AFTER i had built a shed, completely redecorated the whole house, mowed the once pristine lawn, put a new bathroom suite in, fitted a new roof and knitted several xmas jumpers.