Lying Men

#1
Can anyone tell me why I meet such tossers?

I met a guy who in the forces last year – we got on really well and a relationship ensued.
It suited me fine, him away and not in my face 24/7 That’s fine for me as I work long and hard for periods of time, but I was faithful.

I then discover he was married (the lying bar steward) and all was not how it appeared!
I really don’t know how I was taken in for so long – I guess it’s something to do with the fact that I’m not Military so actually believed the tales of ‘working late, every weekend and the responsibilities of an Officer and dinners’ etc. etc. and the fact that I work strange shift patterns too.
At 45 I should know better, but knowing better makes one wonder if it’s possible to trust any of them.

Maybe I should resign myself to the fact that at my age I’m not going to meet anyone – 45 and back on the shelf.
Any thoughts?? – other than I’m feeling sorry for myself this morning!
 
#2
Sorry you are feeling bad.
It's not a forces thing though; it's a people thing :mad:
Suggest you go in your cave and don't come out again until you view yourself as something other than a shelf dweller. Being someone at the mercy of other peoples judgement of your worth is a road paved with the destruction of your self esteem.  
Unfortunately there appears to be many many people (male and female) who speak with forked tongues.
If you are happy to keep a man at arms length and not let him too close you are ideal pickings for the man with a hidden section of his life ,also commitment phobics... but as you say yourself you aren't able/willing to be fully involved timewise yourself.
No easy answers.Just be kind to yourself while you recover and don't appear too grateful when someone tosses you some attention.
There ARE good men out there who will be faithful and honest and kind....trouble is when you are 40 and single it sometimes seems that they are all married or gay.
Good luck :)
 
#3
Thanks for your reply Bint.

I am well over him.
I would be willing to give the time - if I met the right one, however, doing the job I do it's not easy to get out there and meet someone.
I will be away for 11 days from this evening working :( - unless I decide to work a few days less.
I have a career and that's just important to me as a career is to men........ who wants to work at the local Tesco for the basic wage if one has the choice??
I work away from my home base, but the fact is, if I don't want to work I have the choice not to - I let them know I won't be in and I can take the time off.

Last year I went abroad on holiday 9 times with friends so the job is not onerous really - I have freedom to do what I want and when.
It's a great life really - money to do what I want, kids grown up and away from home, holidays, house, car, etc, etc.

Just the one thing missing....... :-/
 
#5
Bloody hell lifesaver.......9 holidays last year..and your fed up.

Stop looking and get flirting, go on girl...he's out there somewhere...
 
#6
Get on the gin and fall down the stairs. That'll sort you out.
You never know a handsome paramedic might whisk you off your feet (and off to A&E, swiftly followed by 6 months in a drying out clinic)
 
#7
Last year I went abroad on holiday 9 times with friends so the job is not onerous really - I have freedom to do what I want and when.
Just the one thing missing....... :-/
Flippin' heck I didn't notice that! 9 foreign holidays in a year??!!!
I'm 41 and have NEVER had a holiday abroad as an adult! In fact I've never even had a holiday without the kids!
Get a grip woman-It's me that needs a man- you have enough nice stuff going on ;D ;D Now about that sleeping thing......does it mow lawns? :p
 
#8
Okay I give in, I will have some more Donut Luv vouchers printed up. ;D

Terms and conditions on the back though

No trolls or gripperfishes ;D
 
#10
How can we thank you enough? :p
Christ I'm sure you will think of something, you've got a "great" imagination.
 
#12
Hey Lippy, the only fishy thing that I am currently aware of.........is the smell of BK_NAAFI_Dickhe*ds Mum.  :D
 
#15
So do I..and the smell you left under my douvet after you'd eaten a jar of pickled eggs is still there ;)  WHo said romance was dead ???
 
#18
But Muttley, she does have expectations! I  read Lifesaver's post with a degree of sympathy.  Some men have some expectations, as Lifesaver and I have, of the relationships we would like to have.

There's a time for guilt free, commitment free, rampant sex and there's a time for that - and some love too.
 
#19
Agreed, but the best way to meet somebody like that is more often than not when your NOT looking for it!

Were just trying to say that men and women lie and can be devious, its not exclusive to the military, and meeting somebody when your looking is almost impossible. you merely end up in a string of short and hopeless liaisons!
 
#20
You're all getting way to 'Mills & Boon' on our arrses.  Get out, get pished, get a kebab, get fuct.  Never hear a bad word said against short & meaningless liaisons.  It's what life is all about ;)
 

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