Lych gate closer

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#1
I should probably post this in DIY but those people live in council houses.

Right. I have a lych gate. It is 1.2mtr wide by 1.7mtr high and made of old oak. It is heavy. I require an automatic gate closer because the people who use it are too ******* stupid to close a gate. If I cannot find a solution I shall string a brick to a pulley and nail the other end to the outside of the gate. But the Bird says I am not allowed to do that because of H&S.

Anybody tried this lot? GC-22-500N Gate Closer - Slam Proof Ltd
 
#2
Brick and pulley, how is that contrary to Health and Safety? Unless the brick descends upon the head of the gate-user as it closes, which would be most amusing but probably legally a bit dodgy.
 

Rod924

LE
Kit Reviewer
#4
#5
Expanding on the brick and line thread use an old weight from a sash window, sliding up and down inside a length of drainpipe
 

Grumblegrunt

LE
Book Reviewer
#6
land rover leaf spring would do it or pack out the hinges to it becomes self closing.
 
#8
#9
If it's used by the public, whatever successful mechanism you put on will get nicked. Seen gate furniture stolen a few times.
 
#10
Just shoot some of the peasants, the rest will learn soon enough.
 
#11
If it's used by the public, whatever successful mechanism you put on will get nicked. Seen gate furniture stolen a few times.
A six quid spring? You must live in a right dodgy area.
 
#12
A six quid spring? You must live in a right dodgy area.
Public access gates and cattle grids installed on part of where I walk the dogs. All the closers etc were knicked in no time. Cost more than six quid though.
 
#13
You need to get it sorted pronto TiD, as if it bangs some WPC on the arse on her way out you may be looking at a 50K surcharge!
 
#14
You need to get it sorted pronto TiD, as if it bangs some WPC on the arse on her way out you may be looking at a 50K surcharge!
1.2 mtrs wide? She wouldn't get that fat arse through it in the first place.
 
#15
Some **** walked two miles too delibratly break a gate so anything is possible :(
Not even sure how you break a steel gate
 

Grumblegrunt

LE
Book Reviewer
#16
treat it like the adventure game or crystal maze dig a pit with big spikes in it and hook a trapdoor to the gate, it the gate isn't closed they cant get past the pit.
 
#17
Public access gates and cattle grids installed on part of where I walk the dogs. All the closers etc were knicked in no time. Cost more than six quid though.
'cos they were pants, perhaps?

that my taxi?
 
#18
treat it like the adventure game or crystal maze dig a pit with big spikes in it and hook a trapdoor to the gate, it the gate isn't closed they cant get past the pit.
Indeed - that is up to the standard required of a Viz top tip. Top effort.
 
#19
treat it like the adventure game or crystal maze dig a pit with big spikes in it and hook a trapdoor to the gate, it the gate isn't closed they cant get past the pit.
And have a fat, myopic, unable-to-use-a-torch WPC fall into your death dealing bear trap. I can see the headlines now.....
 
#20
And have a fat, myopic, unable-to-use-a-torch WPC fall into your death dealing bear trap. I can see the headlines now.....
Yup - Darwin proved correct
 

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