Paddy Pantsdown is releasing his warts-and-all memoir on April 28. Brief excerpt here. Sounds like a very interesting read however this bit caught my attention:- Now i've heard this particular anecdote before somewhere, albeit a slightly different variant where the bootie jumps on to the table and sticks his boot in the Guards officer's bowl of cornflakes after having his request to pass the milk snubbed. Was Paddy really the first to witness it though? Hope he's not telling porkies!