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Love Bites?

#1
How the f do you get rid of them? Woke up the morning after the night before with a right belter. Its needs to be gone by tonight, meeting the dad and babysitting the sister. Its an important night and I need to get rid of this or its gonna be over before it even started. So any advice on how to make it go away? Cheers
 

Gook

Old-Salt
#2
Try a bit of toothpaste rubbed on it, helps somewhat as I found after first parade one morning after the night before...

Or just wear something with a high neck...

Gook
 
#4
Yeah its covered in toothpast atm, but I dunno if its working. It get rid of it completely? If not im sure my mum will help cover it up with some of her make up kit. Dont think I have anything with a high neck.
 
#5
Neil88 said:
How the f do you get rid of them? Woke up the morning after the night before with a right belter. Its needs to be gone by tonight, meeting the dad and babysitting the sister. Its an important night and I need to get rid of this or its gonna be over before it even started. So any advice on how to make it go away? Cheers
Interesting..................so which one (Pop or lil' sis) is gonna give the Thousand Yard Stare??
Or is there a third player to this drama to which we have not, as yet, been made aware of?
Simply put - whose getting it tonight?
 
#7
Its obviously her dad and sister. Its last night im gonna spend with her becuase Ive got to parade at 2030hrs tomorrow. Trust me to mess it up lol
 
#10
No she didnt give it to me. Hence the urgency to get rid of it :( And as for human bite? I'm not quite sure on that front mate. Its debateable.
 
#14
Visit your local prison with a view to meeting one of the more unstable offenders. Offer him a gift in form of a Christmas cake, give him a knowing wink and tell him you've just pulled your mutton gun out of his mum / sister/ aerobics instructor and rub your fishy fingers on his top lip.

He will grab the Bolster chisel that you cleverly concealed within the cake and subject you to a frenzied attack. The marks on your neck will be both disguised and pale into insignificance.

Hope this helps.
 
#16
I f you have access, foundation is a good way of covering them up (ahem!) We had a spate of eye sucking in one of my old squadrons. SSM not happy when half the Sqn had big shiners on the eye. Used No1 wifes foundation and covered mst of it up, otherwise you might be hearing the OC "March the guilty bast@rd in" Oh I forgot we don't charge people any more, just for War Crimes.
 
#17
you should have smacked her in the mouth before it marked, wasnt a love bite a teenage thing to do at school so u could prove you had tampered with an equally young filly and show off to all your mates?? :D

fecking horrible things, unless any fillies wanna try and give me one on my bell end, id give them a miss!
 
#18
Sound advise from Mr Dohnut... a strategically applied angle grinder to the neck may also help.

Failing that you could always bludgeon the Father & Sister with a pick elf. Saves having to make small talk over a cuppa and Rich Tea biscuit.
 
#20
ArmySurplusSpecial said:
you should have smacked her in the mouth before it marked, wasnt a love bite a teenage thing to do at school so u could prove you had tampered with an equally young filly and show off to all your mates?? :D

fecking horrible things, unless any fillies wanna try and give me one on my bell end, id give them a miss!
I dunno i dont mind the odd one now and then but like i said be4 i get my bf to put them somewhere where they wont be seen
 

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