Lottery Win...

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by error_unknown, Mar 22, 2005.

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  1. Yippee! Lucky old me, I've just received an email telling me I've won the Ghanaian National Lottery and netted a cool million dollars. All I have to do is send them my name, address, date of birth and bank details, put my feet up and watch the cash roll into my bank account. Oddly enough, I don't even remember buying a ticket: maybe I was drunk at the time?

  2. :lol: :lol: :lol: I have heard of people actually falling for this scam you know....................
  3. You mean it isn't true? Scheisse :cry:
  4. I have won several lotteries around the world, but I havent claimed the dosh as I do not want to be greedy. Readers Digest keep promising me £5 mill and thats enough for me.
  5. Bizarre. I won that lottery too mate. Rather annoying as I was certain that I was the only winner, guess that means we'll have to split the cash 50:50. Still not to worry, apparently I've also been selected to hold £3 million in my account for a short time whilst an Eygptian oil tycoon moves his business to the UK. In doing so I get a cool £500,000 for my trouble.

    Luck really is smiling on me at present. :?
  6. Lucky b*stards.
    All I get is to sell my car to a Dutch pastor for a large bankers draft and keep a slice of the cash for my trouble. :cry:

    When will the goooood apples falllll on myyy side of the fence...etc
  7. I've got some American Marine's widow promising me some of the loot her husband 'acquired' from an Iraqi Bank.

    Smacks of 'Three Kings', I think.
  8. I've heard bad things about him - you should check out whether he is really genuine or not, you just can't trust people these days...
  9. No, no. He's a man of God and I trust him implicitly.
  10. So. Jesus trusted God implicity and look what happened to him
  11. Well ok, I'm obviously getting a bit cynical. Just dont say i didn't warn ya. If it all goes wrong then I'll be happy to bail you out for the car with the juicy £27 million due to be deposited in my account any time around now.

    Might even give you some of the shares I've been promised in exchange for my mother.
  12. To my mind, all this cynicism highlights the 'institutional racism' inherent in Arrse. I find it appalling that everyone automatically assumes that the Ghanaian National Lottery isn't going to pay out my well deserved million dollars. FFS, the next thing you lot will be saying is that Mrs Arafat isn't going to hand over the share of her 2 billion that she's promised me in return for allowing it to 'rest' in my account for a while. :roll:
  13. What a marvellous confluence of serendipity this day brings..

    I opened my E-mails to find, I,too, here in the hinterland of the True North have been blessed with millions of Euros in some lottery from Holland and another windfall from the Dark Continent.. what are the odds of all these lotteries drawing my ticket on the same day?.. especially when I never bought any in the first place [ Publishers' Clearing House is my game ]..

    anyway.. not to spit on good fortune I have sent away for my booking at the Emirates Palace in Abu Dhabi.. reportedly the most expensive hotel in the world, run with cool efficiency by that notable German corp. Kempinski Hotels and Resorts; they have ' bath butlers ' standing by to prepare one of seven specialty baths you can choose from their ' bath menu '..and as a special treat for a few thousand extra you can go ' off menu ' and call for a champagne bath to be run instead...

    Right, with all my new found wealth , that's for me.. I've extended an invitation to Halle and Anjelina to help scrub my back for a few tokens of my appreciation.. after all what's oodles of money if you don't enjoy it..??

    ta ta.. the plane awaits..
  14. I got one of these recently. It's a bit different from this one though:

    1) It was from Spain
    2) It came THROUGH THE POST

  15. Oh, by the way..

    the wife says I can't take the ARRSEuers along for a game of soccer in Abu Dhabi so, instead I'm buying you all a round or two of the finest on the strength of my 3 and half million pounds won Feb 15th on the UK SmartBall or SportBall lottery or something, which I've been notified I won as well..

    oh, my.. the money just keeps raining down.. sniff.. why am I so blest?.. I feel the need to do something for my fellow man in return...why.. I know... I'd like to teach the world to sing.. in perfect harmony...