Lost in Translation

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by The_Remover, Sep 13, 2010.

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  1. Non-English speaking countries sometimes go out of their way to communicate with their English-speaking tourists:


    Cocktail lounge, Norway:

    LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.


    At a Budapest zoo:

    PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.


    Doctor's office, Rome:

    SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.


    Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan:

    COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.


    In a Nairobi restaurant:

    CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.


    On the grounds of a Nairobi private school:

    NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.


    In Aamchi Mumbai restaurant:

    OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.


    In a Tokyo bar:

    SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.


    Hotel, Japan:

    YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.


    In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:

    YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.


    Hotel, Zurich:

    BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.


    Advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:

    TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.


    A laundry in Rome:

    LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.


    Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:

    TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.


    Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:

    WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?


    The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:

    GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE..


    Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:

    WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.


    And finally, In a Japanese cemetery:

    PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.