Lost In Space

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by HarryPalmer, Sep 17, 2007.

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  1. Subject: Nigerian Astronaut Wants To Come Home
    Dr. Bakare Tunde
    Astronautics Project Manager
    National Space Research and Development Agency (NASRDA)
    Plot 555
    Misau Street
    PMB 437
    Garki, Abuja, FCT NIGERIA

    Dear Mr. Sir,

    REQUEST FOR ASSISTANCE-STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL
    Click here to find out more!

    I am Dr. Bakare Tunde, the cousin of Nigerian Astronaut, Air Force Major Abacha Tunde. He was the first African in space when he made a secret flight to the Salyut 6 space station in 1979. He was on a later Soviet spaceflight, Soyuz T-16Z to the secret Soviet military space station Salyut 8T in 1989. He was stranded there in 1990 when the Soviet Union was dissolved. His other Soviet crew members returned to earth on the Soyuz T-16Z, but his place was taken up by return cargo. There have been occasional Progrez supply flights to keep him going since that time. He is in good humor, but wants to come home.

    In the 14-years since he has been on the station, he has accumulated flight pay and interest amounting to almost $ 15,000,000 American Dollars. This is held in a trust at the Lagos National Savings and Trust Association. If we can obtain access to this money, we can place a down payment with the Russian Space Authorities for a Soyuz return flight to bring him back to Earth. I am told this will cost $ 3,000,000 American Dollars. In order to access the his trust fund we need your assistance.

    Consequently, my colleagues and I are willing to transfer the total amount to your account or subsequent disbursement, since we as civil servants are prohibited by the Code of Conduct Bureau (Civil Service Laws) from opening and/ or operating foreign accounts in our names.

    Needless to say, the trust reposed on you at this juncture is enormous. In return, we have agreed to offer you 20 percent of the transferred sum, while 10 percent shall be set aside for incidental expenses (internal and external) between the parties in the course of the transaction. You will be mandated to remit the balance 70 percent to other accounts in due course.

    Kindly expedite action as we are behind schedule to enable us include downpayment in this financial quarter.

    Please acknowledge the receipt of this message via my direct number 234 (0) 9-234-2220 only.

    Yours Sincerely, Dr. Bakare Tunde
    Astronautics Project Manager
    tip@nasrda.gov.ng

    http://www.nasrda.gov.ng/
     
  2. Go on say yes get the poor bloke home
     
  3. do you want an ex arbyettes bank details?
     
  4. This one is still doing the rounds? First seen in April 2004!

    I may be wrong, but I think the last of the Salyut series of space stations deorbited in Feb 1991, so if I am right he must be crispier than someone having car parking problems at Glasgow Airport.
     
  5. don't bother.. the guy is toast.. 14 years in space -his bones will be like jelly and who know how much radiation he's absorbed..plus he's had to live on food from toothpaste tubes all that time, his teeth will have fallen out long ago..

    better to let him float into space as the medical bills will eat up the rest of his back pay and he'll be in an old astronaut's home for decades to come..
    lost cause that..
     
  6. Bouillabaisse

    Bouillabaisse LE Book Reviewer

  7. Shouldn't we open up a saving saccount at Northern Rock for him? It will be safe there. :eek:

    Berlin
     
  8. Leave him there, and he will soon be able to afford it himself.
     
  9. Well, most of the ones I've met have either been space cadets or wired to the moon.
     
  10. mmm.. Dr. Tunde isn't listed as a contact at the agency and they have 'forgotten' to mention in their news releases that they've still got a guy lost in space thanks to the cheap barstard Russkies..though they do gloat over getting China to pony up some dough for a satellite/space junk on their behalf..
     
  11. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    People would pay millions to get into space, and this ignorant ingrate wants to come BACK?!?!? FFS, what's his problem? I thought he'd be happy with a lovely view, free food and no corruption!
     
  12. Maybe he's worried he'll miss the Commonwealth Games?

    A mate of mine said they had more chance of putting a man in space than of winning the bid - looks like I'll be ignoring his advice from now on.
     
  13. Look, the point is, this man is stuck up there and all you lot can do is make cheap jokes at his expense. This isn't the kind of forum that mocks those less fortunate than ourselves. You make me sick. Now, I have a set of ladders, about 3m high. If we all get together and combine our ladders/steps etc Im sure we can reach him. We could get him home for christmas. The Negian Space Program is a proud organisation who is sadly running low on funds due to large salaries.

    Its time for action, not cheap, snidey jokes. These "jokes" do nothing but make us all look bad. Honestly, what would the journalists think?

    May God bless you greatly for your valuable time, my good sir.
     
  14. Is it me, or is this thread sick? Only arby seems to be treating it with any seriousness whatsoever. A human being is out there, lost, confused and in danger. Never mind the family they're separated from and the anguish they must be suffering!

    Having served, I know all about "squaddie humour" but laughing at this is below the belt. I just hope none of your friends or family ever suffer the same fate! :evil: