Losing My Killer Instinct

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by IdleAdjt, Apr 15, 2005.

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  1. As a proud infanteer, I like to think I have a keen eye for "finishing off" the opposition. I however feel I may soon have to change to the RAChD as today I have allowed compassion to get the better of me and missed an easy target.

    Whilst driving through the rain, I spied on of our less fortunate Scopers strolling down the road. Swaggering like some over-fed blob of dribble and slobber, I could not fail to giggle. Resplendant in a brown cagool and mid-calf slacks topped off with white socks, he embodied everything that is comical about these Joeys.

    At once, I saw my opening. Quick as a flash, I realised that with our current velocities, we would pass each other in the killing area. The killing area happened to be a large puddle in the gutter. I could not miss. My mouth went dry with anticipation of being able to observe his spazzy fit in the rear-view mirror. Totop if off, a group of school boys lurked near-by and they would could not fail to think it the coolest thing ever.

    However as I nurchered my panzar towards the puddle I was overcome with pity. At the last second I swerved to save the mong from a soaking.

    What is wrong with me? I missed a classic comedy opening and allowed someone less fortunate than myself to pass by without embarrissing him further.

    I feel less than a man. I will try to make ammends by kicking a cat or sexually degrading the missus but forever will I know that for once I was weak.

    I need help. Advice please.
  2. RTFQ


    You've let your regiment down, you've let the army down. You've let the naafi down. You've let that retarded looking bloke that pushes around the mail trolley in every HQ down. Most of all you've let yourself down. Get back on those streets, hunt the slack-jawed fecker down and give him a good shoeing to show him you're hard.
  3. I know your right RTFQ. I feel bad. Have just pissed in someones draw at work to get the devil back onside. Keep consoling myslef with the fatc that the amount he was dribbling the soaking would have had no real effect but I know, it would have been the thought that would have counted.
  4. It was probably your in-built fear of offending. It is illegal to drive through puddles and soak people. There are puddle cameras on some stretches of minor roads, and puddle support officers are patrolling some of the puddle black spots. Imprisonment is likely, especially with the introduction of a "threee splashes and you're in" policy.

    Of course, if he was carrying a chair leg you can shoot him in the back.
  5. RTFQ


    to make up for this travesty you're actually going to have to mow the b@stard down if you see him next. You're forgiven if you can get him to bounce 30 foot in the air and do a triple salco.
  6. Whiffer, what copper inhis right would arrest me for simply soaking a Scoper? Darwin at work would be my defence.
  7. Being nasty to spackers isn't instinctive, you have to learn. My eight year old son was playing footie with his little friends in the park last weekend when a large, 15 + 'tard took their ball away and wouldn't give it back. Chickenpunk junior then said some thing along the lines of 'Give our ball back or I'll tell my Mummy', at which the joey collapsed to the ground and started crying. Junior was so taken aback by this that he offered to let the windowlicker play too, after which all was sweetness and light. Mrs chickenpunk was very pleased by Junior's 'kindness'; I was horrified. Were I able bodied I would have given him the thrashing of his life, instead I was reduced to railing pitifully at the effeminacy of modern society and re-reading my 'Boys Book of Eugenics'.
  8. And if it turns out to be a born again copper you nicked :lol:
  9. I've not got that bad. I didn't splash be fat dribbler, but I didn't offer him a lift. Just dawned on me, I should have but as he approached, sped off 10 yards to repeat the trick. Would have been like the scene in Wild Geese just replace Rapher with a 16 stone, misted specks, slavvering MLAAAAAR.
  10. You fecking officers :roll: , if it was a senior, we would never miss the opportunity

    Get a bloody grip before you start hugging your troops
  11. not always true D_L i bottled it once as we deployed on active edge and brig was right there!!! but as I was on his tac panzer, thought best i dont!! :oops:
  12. What is this world coming to :roll:

    First IdleAdjt and now you C-C, I am so disappointed, so disappointed :cry:
  13. Ah but D_L the timeline between me and IdleA's is 20 years plus, MCTC was still a scarey place then, I had no plans to go back... :oops:
  14. As the headmaster of the inflatable school said to the inflatable boy, who had brought a drawing pin in.."You've let me down, you've let the school down but most important of all, you've let yourself down..." Mwahaha...

    Be nice to window lickers, some day you might misjudge Deadman's Curve and be one yourself...shlurpp shlurpp, mlaar!