Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Schadenfreudefest, Sep 22, 2011.

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  1. Nah, not people, you bunch of cunts, the things they've lost.

    There must have been some outstanding bollox dropped by the good membership of this Forum in regard to items entrusted to them, but failed to remain so due to varying levels of fuckwittery.

    But let's not limit ourselves to HM Armed Forces, they guys and gals in blue are prone to a bit of possessional dumfuckness too.

    So let's start with this classic from 2008...

    Tony Blair's bodyguard left gun in Starbuck's toilet - Telegraph

    Confess your 'mates' sins, you know it's good for you... er, them!
  2. I know a STAB tart that left her nine mil in an asda bog....
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  3. I also know a certain ward manager that went for a dump with the paper, but unknown to him his key belt had come off, said manager finishes releasing his otter into the wild and buggers off back to the day room, two hours later a patient comes up to him " here boss ya left ya keys in the throne room".....bugger

    This was in the UKs most secure hospital, filled with all kinds of cannibal rapist porridgegun types....

    (..it was also me)
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  4. You have my absolution, my son. Sorry, it carrys no weight with others!
  5. or was it Tesco?
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  6. Hmm could have been, was in the daily hate
  7. What were you, the manager or the patient? :)
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  8. manager. although im not quite sure now. those windows....they, are sooo tasty!
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  9. While working with the Navy on Op Grenada I was on a boarding party and had the pleasure of watching a matelot frantically wave good bye to his SA80 as it sunk to the bottom of the Irish Sea (that's why it has a sling). Also got to watch an ARMY underwater search team recover the NAVY's gang plank steps at Moscow Camp's jetty after a certain Ton class skipper knocked them in to the oggin whilst trying to bring his ship alongside.

    Despite that all fantastic blokes and a real pleasure to work with
  10. Early 80s, an RUC left a Sterling in a local barbers shop. Fortunately, said barber was also a J.P.

    A few years ago, 5 newly passed-out PSNI gave their PPWs to a nightclub bouncer in Belfast "for safekeeping". Lucky again, the bouncer called the police.
  11. You couldn't make that shit up!
  12. Of all the things I've lost in life, I miss my mind the most :)
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  13. some tool in my brick lost a antler battery,in Ni and yes we got it back
  14. early 90s, a peeler left his loaded ppw on the edge of the bath, then went downstairs and forgot about it.

    Baby Boozy (circa 6/7years old) then came along found it, pointed it at all sorts of things as if it was a toy before taking it downstairs and pointing it the forgetful peeler. "Look daddy you forgot this!" ... Shat himself all over again :)
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  15. Summer of 1997 a big fat sweaty peeler came to the door of my mate's maisonette flat where were getting stuck into his 100 litres of homebrew cider, and asked had we seen anyone running around with a gun. My mate said "Yep, matter of fact I have. He's about your size and build, wearing a green shirt..oh wait, it wasn't you after all - you seem to have lost yours!"

    Copper not amused

    Linky : Loyalists may have missing police gun.(News) - The News Letter (Belfast, Northern Ireland) | HighBeam Research