looks like the septics have embraced irony

Discussion in 'The Lamp and Sandbag II - The Tall Story Strikes B' started by mucus, Oct 13, 2004.

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  1. good this from an expat mate, is king classic :lol:

    > Subject: Wouldn't you like this speech!
    > WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR
    > OUR NEXT PESIDENT GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?
    >
    > My Fellow Americans:
    > As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed. Since
    > congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission
    > in Iraq is complete.
    >
    > This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American
    > forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now
    > time to begin the reckoning.
    >
    > Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries
    > which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is
    > short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria , Australia, and Poland are
    > some of the countries listed there.
    >
    > The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the
    > worlds nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing
    > copies of both lists later this evening.
    >
    > Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those
    > nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved
    > during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the
    > Iraqi war.
    >
    > The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world
    > Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.
    >
    > Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.
    >
    > In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this
    > money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.
    >
    > On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we
    > will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face
    > of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or
    > maybe China.
    >
    > To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace
    > deal now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go
    > to Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big
    > tables, too. By the way Palestinians, we are no longer going to
    > restrain Israel!
    >
    > I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with
    > France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades.
    >
    > We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
    >
    > I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many
    > UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid
    > parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded
    > and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You
    > creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets
    > tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned
    > over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.
    >
    > A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are
    > likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to
    > try not pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2.
    > President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude
    > adjustment. I will have a couple of extra tank and infantry divisions
    > sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security.
    > So start doing something with your oil.
    >
    > Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty ---
    > starting now. We are sick and tired of the one-way highway. It is time
    > for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will
    > accuse us of isolationism. I answer them be saying, "dern tootin."
    >
    > Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the
    > world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on
    > the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to
    > eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup
    > Soccer from America.
    >
    > To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and
    > we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Go to Hell.
    > God bless America. Thank you and good night.
    >
    > If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in
    > English, thank a soldier.
    > (Please forward this to at least ten friends and see what happens!
    > Let's get this to every computer in the USA!!)
    >
    >
    >
     
  2. Dern tootin'! :D
     
  3. god, if only it was true :D :D
     
  4. Please eliminate it from the world.....PLEASE......PRETTY PLEASE :cry:

    Good post :lol: