London Zoo audit

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by fairy_nuff, Aug 22, 2012.

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  1. Today they are weighing and measuring all the animals in London Zoo, should the same be done on arrse for the arssers?
  2. That's going to be a barrel of laughs when they get to the insects.
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  3. Why? I know I'm short(ish) and fat.
  4. No but maybe for past conquests. That would be scary.
  5. How do you count the ants?
  6. 1, 2, 3, 4, .... 375,287, 375,288, 375,289....
  7. Ants Nest x 1, complete to CES....

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  8. That's OK if the little bastards are all still, if they are scurrying around it will be more like 1,2,3 bugger ... 1,2,3,4,5 grrr fuck....1,2,3,4, 5...FUCK IT!! 1 million.
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  9. Who cares your the audit if you say there is 13,456,765 who's to say your wrong
  10. Zoo keeper: oh no, there's a deficiency!!!! We're missing one of the giant screeching cockroaches!!!!
    Zoo superintendent: Don't worry, it's the Wall-eyed Mr whippy, we transferred him to ARRSE!!!
    EM: MWUahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
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  11. This does sound like the perfect skive, conducting a 100% check on all animals = get last years figures and write them down again. I mean you're going to know if you're diffy one elephant. You can just guess at the ants.
  12. Yes but what if you have acquired an elephant and now have 3 instead of 2?
  13. Depends if it is on your ET or not, if it is it'll be on the elephant SSR, if not conceal third elephant in store as a spare.
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  14. This is true, but what if it is surplus, should it not be returned to SQ's.
  15. Are elephants starred items?
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