London Travel Advice , What to do if it kicks off...

#1
With yesterdays failed bombing a nephew who works in London asked whats best to do if it kicks off , the best I can offer was to calmly and collectively get the fcuk out of there , carefully picking your direction , keep your ears open for small arms fire and obviously head the other way if you hear it, dont necessarily follow the crowd , assess the surroundings and use them to your advantage.

What do you recommend ?
 

StBob072

LE
Book Reviewer
#4
What do you recommend ?
Emigrate to New Zealand. Or possibly Antarctica.

Sorry for facetious advice, but other than what you've said, there's no "one size fits all" safety advice, except to stay calm (if one can) and stay put until you know the safest direction to move in (assuming the emergency services know what's going on!)
 
#5
Emigrate to New Zealand. Or possibly Antarctica.

Sorry for facetious advice, but other than what you've said, there's no "one size fits all" safety advice, except to stay calm (if one can) and stay put until you know the safest direction to move in (assuming the emergency services know what's going on!)
That was my advice as well but youngsters do seem to love the **ithole , where I live the worst crime is when a cow gets rustled or a sheep raped (not me officer) .
 
#6
Sensible answer - follow advice of police, if in open find shelter and take cover. If in building where it is going, try to get out, otherwise hide and then call for help and STFU.
 
#8
Any children or old people you are with, kick them firmly in the side of the knee.
Crippling them and allow their screaming to distract Abdul who will go for the easy kill as you feck off at mph=lots
 

StBob072

LE
Book Reviewer
#11
That was my advice as well but youngsters do seem to love the **ithole , where I live the worst crime is when a cow gets rustled or a sheep raped (not me officer) .
They go where the work is, unfortunately.

I commuted to and from central London in the 1980s, despite atrocities committed by the IRA at that time. Funnily enough, I didn't feel afraid at the time, but I'm more reluctant to travel to town these days, because there seems to be many more opportunities for small-scale ********* to wreak their havoc.
 
#12


Christ on a bike, if being bombed nightly by the Luftwaffe didn't cause the 40's generation to panic why should their offspring behave like a bunch of weeds and whoopsies over a few random nutters?
 

skid2

LE
Book Reviewer
#13
Any children or old people you are with, kick them firmly in the side of the knee.
Crippling them and allow their screaming to distract Abdul who will go for the easy kill as you feck off at mph=lots
My advice was similar, 'find someone who can't run as fast as you' This week, I've been to see the Gilmour film, a book launch and we're out for dinner tonight. I ve never been so popular.
 

StBob072

LE
Book Reviewer
#14


Christ on a bike, if being bombed nightly by the Luftwaffe didn't cause the 40's generation to panic why should their offspring behave like a bunch of weeds and whoopsies over a few random nutters?

Do you actually know from experience that the 40's generation didn't panic?
 
#16
I recently walked into LGW arrivals after flying in , my first thought was what an easy target , thousands standing around , all had walked in with no security checks , I walked out sharply .
 
#18
I like to think I could tear the Hockler from the dying grasp of a felled officer of the law with the reassuring words 'It's OK feller, I'll get the bastard' before systematically taking off into the fray, wading chisel-jawed through the fleeing, screaming masses and slotting the terrorists with a stream of full auto from the hip - with an almost theatrical (and televised) coup de grace to the ringleader's head... with his own gat, accompanied by the retort of '******* hurts don't it?' Then spark up an 8" Cohiba and wait for CO19 to rock up. Back slaps all around, George Cross from Brenda, and bragging rights down the pub for life.. after accepting the offer of a year's worth of free blowies from the mini-skirted hottie who works behind the bar.

Sorry... what was the question again?
 

StBob072

LE
Book Reviewer
#19
I like to think I could tear the Hockler from the dying grasp of a felled officer of the law with the reassuring words 'It's OK feller, I'll get the bastard' before systematically taking off into the fray, wading chisel-jawed through the fleeing, screaming masses and slotting the terrorists with well-aimed double taps - with an almost theatrical (and televised) coup de grace to the ringleader's head... with his own gat, accompanied by the retort of '******* hurts don't it?' Then spark up an 8" Cohiba and wait for CO19 to rock up. Back slaps all around, George Cross from Brenda, and bragging rights down the pub for life.. after accepting the offer of a year's worth of free blowies from the mini-skirted hottie who works behind the bar.

Sorry... what was the question again?

You've been reading Terence Strong again, haven't you, you little tinker? :D
 
#20
Carry an umbrella with a wood, stainless or fibreglass shaft, not one of those cheap golf ones that you get as promo items. A proper walking stick umbrella - practical in british weather and useful for fending off the unwanted attentions of the great unwashed.

And, of course, a gentleman should always be able to keep a lady dry. Until he wants her wet.
 

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