London Olympics

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by maccabonga, May 18, 2012.

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  1. It's 2012 and it's the Olympics in London.

    A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman want to get in, but they haven't got tickets.

    The Scotsman picks up a manhole-cover, tucks it under his arm and walks tothe gate.

    "McTavish, Scotland," he says, "Discus," and in he walks.

    The Englishman picks up a length of scaffolding and slings it over his shoulder.

    "Waddington-Smythe, England," he says, "Pole vault," and in he walks.

    The Irishman looks around, picks up a roll of barbed wire and tucks it under his arm.

    "O'Malley, Ireland," he says,

    • Like Like x 2
  2. First time i heard that was the '56 olympics, i was too young remember the '52 games, i was only three.
    • Like Like x 1
  3. A Canadian a Russian and a Scouser were at the olympic hammer throwing event.

    The anouncer comes on and "The olympic record for the hammer is 80M"

    The Canadian comes up, throws the hammer 85M

    A reporter ask's the Canadian how he became so strong "My grandfather was a lumberjack, My father was a Lumberjack and I am a Lumberjack it make's me strong"

    Next comes the Russian he picks up the hammer and throws it 90M

    A reporter asks him how he became so strong "My grandfather farmed the land, my father farmed the land and I farmed the land it makes me strong."

    Next the Scouser comes along picks up the hammer and throws it out the stadium the crowed goes wild.

    A reporter asks him how he became so strong "Me grandpa was on the dole,me pa was on the dole, I'm on the dole and when they mentioned a hammer I thought they were going to put me to work."
  4. Well I'm glad that you can then enjoy this version in full colour!
  5. phil245

    phil245 LE Book Reviewer

    the 100m sprint final is just like being in any London nightclub on any Saturday night. you hear a gunshot, and all you see is black men running like fcuk.
  6. 12 para-olympians have just been banned from competing, they tested positive for WD 40