London Marathon

Whilst cycling in the direction of my physio this morning, having booked a pre- marathon sport massage, I got knocked off my bike in Hyde Park. After executing a nifty triple-back salko over the handlebars, I came to rest against a cast-iron bollard. Apart from some grazes and contusions, regrettably I discover that I have also broken my right shoulderblade (much to the excitement of the a & e and orthopaedic bods at the Chelsea & Westminster hospital), thus no Marathon this year. I must therefore apologise to those of you who very kindly pledged or donated money in sponsorship to the ABF. When I am less high on painkillers, I will find out what happens re the 'donation' money, as opposed to the pledges which obviously now won't be taken.

 

The timing is suspicious if you ask me.

How many attempts did it take before it broke?

 

Did you get the minicab to reverse a couple of times until the angle was right?

No problem you can still put my donation to charridy

Why not borrow a wheelchair and get you mutt to pull you round the course while you impersonate Terri Schiavo

 

Eye witness statements swear that the car was swerving like mad to avoid you, but you kept trying to cylcle under it's wheels, shouting.

"I'VE GOT TO GET A BLIGHTY"

 

Hard luck Chickenpunk. That's a real bugger.
I got a fairly bad muscle injury a while ago, because I overloaded on my training, but I'm still managing to drag myself round with an assurance there will be no permanent damage.
I'll be the guy struggling to keep up with the loony in the rhino costume!
Still, doesn't this mean you'll have an assured place next year CP?

 

I cant see the problem, its your shoulder, not your legs. Get some Brufen down your neck, and crack on.

 

Bad luck CP. Is your entry to the marathon transferable?

 

Yes, the entry can be held over to next year so that will be fine. Actually it was a pedestrian who took me out, a fecking Italian tourist who stepped out of a big gaggle of them right in the middle of a cycle path, and clipped me with his shoulder. The fecker gave me a wad of kleenex and then took off, leaving me to hobble two miles to the hospital.

 

Italian eh?

Must have been a professional hit then

 

What a puffy excuse!

Good job Private Beharry didn't take the chicken punk approach

Hardly the dunkirk spirit is it? not what won two world wars and a Falklands campaign....

I'd pen a verse but I can't think of anything that rhymes with 'Backsliding welshman'

 

You mean an I-tie has actually managed to inflict some sort of damage... Shocking.

 

Bugger, I was going to give you a £1000 per mile (non transferable)

 

You can always give it to me instead Akira.

 

As a means of making amends and increasing revenue for the ABF and SSAFA I reckon Chickenpunk could nosh binmen in an effort to keep his street cred for being pummelled by a dago.

If he volunteers to do this I will make a large donation......... in the form of a video to all his old service comrades

 

Fancy all that training, all that reducing down to 40 fags per day and no more than 8 cans per night. What a waste. Can I do your Canada trip for you?