London marathon, good luck to all Arrsers participating.

Discussion in 'Current Affairs, News and Analysis' started by ducati916, Apr 15, 2005.

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  1. Done my first and last marathon in Manchester 5 years ago, never ever again. I was given the 16 week trg programme, after 5 got bored and stuck to my 5 miles a day normal running. 1st mistake.

    Second mistake was when I arrived in Manchester day before the marathon, everyone (about 10 of us from the unit went), was eating pasta and drinking water/energy drinks all day, I decided to have a couple of pints of the black stuff, you know iron is good for you and burger and chips, there is energy enough in that. Well come the evening, we again all went out. Heathly meals water etc, no not me, I now had the taste of the black stuff, anyway had several or so more pints, against the advice of my fellow runners.

    Morning comes and I feel brill so I go and force a No2 out, par for guinness. I stick a pound in my shorts, just in case. So off we go for our 26 mile jog. 3 miles into it, I need cover, I need to drop my pants oh shit. Had to go off course to find cover, found it and relief, so back to the job in hand, another couple of miles, need a pee, another couple miles, bloody hungry, so pops in to garage and buys a mars bar, lovely. Got to the half way point no bother, another few miles, I need another Guinness sh1t, found cover quite quickly. I was doing very well, until I hit the "wall" at 18 miles, 2 and 1/2 hours covered, no more problems after that, with only 1 stop in little sweet shop, needed energy. It took me 2hrs 5 mins to complete the last 8 miles and I was in rag order. I done the marathon in 4hrs 36 mins, what really gutted me, was when old grannies were overtaking me. Never again.

    Morale of the story, if you intend to do the marathon:

    1. Train for 16 weeks
    2. Do not drink 9 pints of guinness the night before

    Good luck to all those idiots running on Sunday, hope you get the time you trained for :lol:
  2. Goatman

    Goatman LE Book Reviewer

    Yeah seconded - good luck to all the runners especially those running for

    1) Army Benevolent Fund

    2) Combat Stress

    3) BLESMA

    SS Duck - considering the saga you did well to get round.

    Apparentely David Bedford phoned Chris Brasher, drunk , at 4am on the night before the first London Marathon in 1981, insisting he be given a place. By Bedford's account it wasn't the number of ales he'd sunk that slowed him down it was the prawn curry afterwards.....

    My first London marathon I made the mistake of tagging onto a very fetching lady dressed in a French Maid's outfit , complete with feather duster.

    It was only when we got to the 20 mile point that she said her normal time was 3:30 (in fancy dress). I stopped to take on water at that point and she trotted daintily into the distance....

    I finally dragged in at 4:58 having walked most of the final five miles. The only reason I beat five hours was because Orinoco the Womble went past me on Birdcage Walk and I tottered into a jog.

    Luckily, he stopped for group photo with the other Wombles otherwise he'd have beaten me to the line..... :lol:

    If you see Bernie Clifton on his horse give him a shout from Arrse!

    Good luck everyone...big, big day....don't cry when you cross the line it ruins the pic!

    Le Chevre
  3. Cheers guys.
    Don't think I've trained enough and after training, had too much of the "I've earnt it" mentality at the OTC bar. :D
    But, we'll see how it goes, hey?
  4. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Kit Reviewer

    Where's the famous Chickenshirk, I mean Chickenpunk ?

    He's had yet another biff chit fablonned and is claiming to be unable to run because his shoulder hurts !
    The daft cnut reported that he's got a sore shoulder shortly after insisting that the wee dayglo stabilizing wheels on his pushbike be removed, "so the big boys don't laugh at me."
    I haven't run marathons for a couple of years now, but still keep an interest in the races.
    Can anyone tell me of a change in the rules insisting on all participants doing the whole amble on their hands ?

    Some medic of 1 Civ Div (UK) is doing the run in a decontamination suit for Chrissakes, so just because our lanky leadswinger managed to fall so hard that he could feel the ground through his blubber he can hardly cry off a wee bit of phys.

    Come on lardy, start puffing round the course - just remember you'll get a Ginsters at the end.
  5. Nutter... But good on him. Should be an interesting day for him. :D
  6. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Kit Reviewer

    He's the boke that ran as the Kissing Medic a couple of years back.
    It's not one of the normal suits mind, it has a forced ventilation system in the helmet apparently.
    Still, he should be sectioned or at least get a good hoofing for giving TCH & his cronies fantasies of what the troops can do in the issue kit.

    Anyway back to Chickenbiff, is a poorly shoulder an excuse for not bimbling round the Smoke ?
  7. Wait... So it's not just the suit. He's doing it with the mask on?! This guy needs help, although maybe not as much as the bloke that did it in a full old-fashioned diving suit.
    I'd have to say that CP probably isn't jacking it in as much as we'd like to think. If his shoulder's bust, moving your arms is going to be one hell of task, thus making your running a hell of a lot harder.
    Still, apparently people have done it with worse... ;)
  8. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Kit Reviewer

    Slacker Radcliffe has apparently won the race, narrowly beating Chickenlimp in the backbone stakes.

    Does she earn dosh for a run like this or does she collect sponsorship pledges for charity like mere mortals ?
  9. She earns dosh. But good on her.
    As for me, Owwwwww!!! In so much pain. Don't think I'll be moving for a while! :D
  10. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Kit Reviewer

    Aye, good on her.
    Two hundred and seventy-five grand in her sky rocket rather than to a deserving charity.

    Good skills Paula.
    Jack cow.
  11. Good to see that Paula has good squaddie instincts - when you need to go you just gotta go, even if there are several million people watching you!!!
  12. Forget London, whose with me for the Dublin marathon on the 31 October? :p
  13. Goatman

    Goatman LE Book Reviewer

    Roiinek, you are so full of sh7t it probably leaks out of your open toed Jesus boots when you walk......

    nice trolling.

    Paula Radcliffe just whupped the best female runners in the world for the third time of asking, despite stopping to take a leak at mile 20.

    The best British Service runner I know of in this year's race got round in three minbutres behind Paula

    She's running 5 minute miles at 25 miles into the would be alongside me in the gutter puking your guts out...this is one tough chick.
    The fact that she's one of the most down to earth ordianbry people you could meet to talk to is a bonus.

    buckaroo, you ain't fit to clean the streets after she glides by :lol:

    if you think it isn't so , then put your money where your gobshite mouth is and run the race with me next year! I can gurantee you a place with Combat Stress or BLESMA 8)

    Paula, you go girl...we are not worthy !

    Le Chevre
  14. I am not proud to announce that in 1987 in Belfast at the 23 mile point I was overtaken by a team of 8 carrying a Maori war canoe and the duracell rabbit.
  15. I think I was passed by some guy running in a Star Costume, as well as some Wombles (although I did later run past them), and some Firemen running with a cardboard fire-truck on their shoulders. :D