London marathon, good luck to all Arrsers participating.

#1
Done my first and last marathon in Manchester 5 years ago, never ever again. I was given the 16 week trg programme, after 5 got bored and stuck to my 5 miles a day normal running. 1st mistake.

Second mistake was when I arrived in Manchester day before the marathon, everyone (about 10 of us from the unit went), was eating pasta and drinking water/energy drinks all day, I decided to have a couple of pints of the black stuff, you know iron is good for you and burger and chips, there is energy enough in that. Well come the evening, we again all went out. Heathly meals water etc, no not me, I now had the taste of the black stuff, anyway had several or so more pints, against the advice of my fellow runners.

Morning comes and I feel brill so I go and force a No2 out, par for guinness. I stick a pound in my shorts, just in case. So off we go for our 26 mile jog. 3 miles into it, I need cover, I need to drop my pants oh shit. Had to go off course to find cover, found it and relief, so back to the job in hand, another couple of miles, need a pee, another couple miles, bloody hungry, so pops in to garage and buys a mars bar, lovely. Got to the half way point no bother, another few miles, I need another Guinness sh1t, found cover quite quickly. I was doing very well, until I hit the "wall" at 18 miles, 2 and 1/2 hours covered, no more problems after that, with only 1 stop in little sweet shop, needed energy. It took me 2hrs 5 mins to complete the last 8 miles and I was in rag order. I done the marathon in 4hrs 36 mins, what really gutted me, was when old grannies were overtaking me. Never again.

Morale of the story, if you intend to do the marathon:

1. Train for 16 weeks
2. Do not drink 9 pints of guinness the night before

Good luck to all those idiots running on Sunday, hope you get the time you trained for :lol:
 

Goatman

ADC
Book Reviewer
#2
Yeah seconded - good luck to all the runners especially those running for

1) Army Benevolent Fund

2) Combat Stress

3) BLESMA

SS Duck - considering the saga you did well to get round.

Apparentely David Bedford phoned Chris Brasher, drunk , at 4am on the night before the first London Marathon in 1981, insisting he be given a place. By Bedford's account it wasn't the number of ales he'd sunk that slowed him down it was the prawn curry afterwards.....

My first London marathon I made the mistake of tagging onto a very fetching lady dressed in a French Maid's outfit , complete with feather duster.

It was only when we got to the 20 mile point that she said her normal time was 3:30 (in fancy dress). I stopped to take on water at that point and she trotted daintily into the distance....

I finally dragged in at 4:58 having walked most of the final five miles. The only reason I beat five hours was because Orinoco the Womble went past me on Birdcage Walk and I tottered into a jog.

Luckily, he stopped for group photo with the other Wombles otherwise he'd have beaten me to the line..... :lol:

If you see Bernie Clifton on his horse give him a shout from Arrse!

Good luck everyone...big, big day....don't cry when you cross the line it ruins the pic!

Le Chevre
 
#3
Cheers guys.
Don't think I've trained enough and after training, had too much of the "I've earnt it" mentality at the OTC bar. :D
But, we'll see how it goes, hey?
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
#4
Where's the famous Chickenshirk, I mean Chickenpunk ?

He's had yet another biff chit fablonned and is claiming to be unable to run because his shoulder hurts !
The daft cnut reported that he's got a sore shoulder shortly after insisting that the wee dayglo stabilizing wheels on his pushbike be removed, "so the big boys don't laugh at me."
I haven't run marathons for a couple of years now, but still keep an interest in the races.
Can anyone tell me of a change in the rules insisting on all participants doing the whole amble on their hands ?

Some medic of 1 Civ Div (UK) is doing the run in a decontamination suit for Chrissakes, so just because our lanky leadswinger managed to fall so hard that he could feel the ground through his blubber he can hardly cry off a wee bit of phys.

Come on lardy, start puffing round the course - just remember you'll get a Ginsters at the end.
 
#5
Cutaway said:
Some medic of 1 Civ Div (UK) is doing the run in a decontamination suit for Chrissakes
Nutter... But good on him. Should be an interesting day for him. :D
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
#6
Macks said:
Cutaway said:
Some medic of 1 Civ Div (UK) is doing the run in a decontamination suit for Chrissakes
Nutter... But good on him. Should be an interesting day for him. :D
He's the boke that ran as the Kissing Medic a couple of years back.
It's not one of the normal suits mind, it has a forced ventilation system in the helmet apparently.
Still, he should be sectioned or at least get a good hoofing for giving TCH & his cronies fantasies of what the troops can do in the issue kit.


Anyway back to Chickenbiff, is a poorly shoulder an excuse for not bimbling round the Smoke ?
 
#7
Cutaway said:
Macks said:
Cutaway said:
Some medic of 1 Civ Div (UK) is doing the run in a decontamination suit for Chrissakes
Nutter... But good on him. Should be an interesting day for him. :D
He's the boke that ran as the Kissing Medic a couple of years back.
It's not one of the normal suits mind, it has a forced ventilation system in the helmet apparently.
Still, he should be sectioned or at least get a good hoofing for giving TCH & his cronies fantasies of what the troops can do in the issue kit.


Anyway back to Chickenbiff, is a poorly shoulder an excuse for not bimbling round the Smoke ?
Wait... So it's not just the suit. He's doing it with the mask on?! This guy needs help, although maybe not as much as the bloke that did it in a full old-fashioned diving suit.
I'd have to say that CP probably isn't jacking it in as much as we'd like to think. If his shoulder's bust, moving your arms is going to be one hell of task, thus making your running a hell of a lot harder.
Still, apparently people have done it with worse... ;)
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
#8
Slacker Radcliffe has apparently won the race, narrowly beating Chickenlimp in the backbone stakes.

Does she earn dosh for a run like this or does she collect sponsorship pledges for charity like mere mortals ?
 
#9
She earns dosh. But good on her.
As for me, Owwwwww!!! In so much pain. Don't think I'll be moving for a while! :D
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
#10
Aye, good on her.
Two hundred and seventy-five grand in her sky rocket rather than to a deserving charity.

Good skills Paula.
Jack cow.
 
#11
Good to see that Paula has good squaddie instincts - when you need to go you just gotta go, even if there are several million people watching you!!!
 

Goatman

ADC
Book Reviewer
#13
Cutaway said:
Aye, good on her.
Two hundred and seventy-five grand in her sky rocket rather than to a deserving charity.

Good skills Paula.
Jack cow.
Roiinek, you are so full of sh7t it probably leaks out of your open toed Jesus boots when you walk......

nice trolling.


Paula Radcliffe just whupped the best female runners in the world for the third time of asking, despite stopping to take a leak at mile 20.

The best British Service runner I know of in this year's race got round in 2:20.....er three minbutres behind Paula

She's running 5 minute miles at 25 miles into the race...you would be alongside me in the gutter puking your guts out...this is one tough chick.
The fact that she's one of the most down to earth ordianbry people you could meet to talk to is a bonus.

buckaroo, you ain't fit to clean the streets after she glides by :lol:

if you think it isn't so , then put your money where your gobshite mouth is and run the race with me next year! I can gurantee you a place with Combat Stress or BLESMA 8)


Paula, you go girl...we are not worthy !

Le Chevre
 
#14
I am not proud to announce that in 1987 in Belfast at the 23 mile point I was overtaken by a team of 8 carrying a Maori war canoe and the duracell rabbit.
 
#15
I think I was passed by some guy running in a Star Costume, as well as some Wombles (although I did later run past them), and some Firemen running with a cardboard fire-truck on their shoulders. :D
 

Goatman

ADC
Book Reviewer
#16
I only saw a bit of the non-elite race coverage but there were two people dressed as Dr Who Cybermen... God knows what time they did but they got round, which is definitely what it's all about for us mere mortals.

Didn't see any Mad medics in decontam gear but I did see a couple of firemen running the Great South a couple of years ago wearing full BA systems...there are some seriously whacky people out there.

Congrats and a big pat on the back to everyone who made it round..go on then, show us yer medal :lol:

Commiserations to those who had to stop for whatever reason...there's always next year!

Le Chevre



Le Chevre
 
#17
Cutaway said:
Aye, good on her.
Two hundred and seventy-five grand in her sky rocket rather than to a deserving charity.

Good skills Paula.
Jack cow.
26.2 miles
1,760 yards in a mile, therefore marathon = 46,112 yards

Winners purse £275,000, divide by 46,112 = £5.96 per yard.

Given that her stride is probably in excess of 3 feet lets say she gets £6 a stride. Therefore she's running around going £6, £12, £18 ect. until she gets to about £211,200 when it changes to £211,206 need a p*ss!!!

G'man - I know whats comming next from you in terms of a challenge to run one but I have absolutely no intention of even trying to run a marathon but at £6 a stride I'd probably get round (god knows how long though!!!) 'cos £275,000 is pretty good motivation.

Now if it were just for a poxy olympic medal :wink:
 
#18
Finished in 4:42. Bit disappointed but I did have a cold (medical advice is to not run but I had raised over £1300 for charity). First 8 miles were fine (sub 9 minutes per mile) then the cold got me back. My heart rate went up to 184 so rather than keeling over dead I slowed down a fair bit. Made half way in 2:03 but then it all went wrong. Ran and tabbed the last 13.1 miles and t was agony. Still finished so that was the main thing. Not going to do it again for a couple of years (the family have been drained of money to provide most of the sponsorship). The main thing was the crowd who were fantastic.

Well done to all who completed the run and a big thanks to all who sponsored me and the tousands of others who pounded round yesterday.
 

Goatman

ADC
Book Reviewer
#19
Rudolph_Hucker said:
Cutaway said:
Aye, good on her.
Two hundred and seventy-five grand in her sky rocket rather than to a deserving charity.

Good skills Paula.
Jack cow.

G'man - I know whats comming next from you in terms of a challenge to run one but I have absolutely no intention of even trying to run a marathon but at £6 a stride I'd probably get round (god knows how long though!!!) 'cos £275,000 is pretty good motivation.

Now if it were just for a poxy olympic medal :wink:
Naw, I must be transparent. Running isn't for everyone - I'm surrounded by crocks in CS95 who have done their knees,backs,ankles in over the years. I suspect all of them would do better than me in a firefight.

Rude, when you reach my venerable age and you can still gurn your way around the London Marathon course, you've got to count yourself lucky.

I won't rehash the 'Paula jacked it' thread - it's all been said. Good troll by Cutaway, reflex bite by me

I've met her, run that course and stand in awe. In my book she's okay.

Tell you what though - Nell McAndrew was also running this year. I haven't seen her time but last year she put up 3hrs 22!

good effort Nell - if you need a jogging partner let me know :lol:

Lee Shaver
 

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