London Bomb - first joke

Discussion in 'The Lamp and Sandbag II - The Tall Story Strikes B' started by Plastic Yank, Jul 21, 2005.

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  1. Why are there no Muslims on the starship Enterprise?

    Cause its set in the future!

    (well i laughed)
  2. pwnar pwnar
  3. There were a couple on here last week -

    Why did Hamed Hussein get on the No 30 bus?
    The tube is murder that time of the day

    What's the difference between smarties and cockneys?
    Smarties don't explod in the tube
  4. London Transports put up its prices.

    The tube now costs an arm and aleg, and the buses have gone through the roof.


  5. Smarties don't melt in the tube
    , and I heard that when the Kings X fire happened many moons ago
  6. Excellent. Keep up the good work.
  7. What's the difference between an English sex doll and a Muslim one?

    You have to inflate the English doll manually, but the Muslim one blows itself up.
  8. I hate these,

    Whats the difference between a London tube Train and a tin of saradines,

    When opened, the saradines are in 1 piece.

  9. Two Muslim mothers are sitting in the cafe chatting over a pint of goat's milk. The older of the two pulls her bag out and starts flipping through photographs and they start reminiscing.

    "This is my oldest son Mohammed. He'd be 24 years old now." "Yes, I remember him as a baby," says the other mother cheerfully. "He's a martyr now," mum confides. "O! That's so sad dear," says the other.

    "And is my second son, Kalid. He'd be 21 now," says the first Muslim mother. "Oh, I remember him," says the other happily, "he had such dark, curly hair when he was born." "Yes, Well, he's a martyr, too now," says the mother quietly. "Oh! Good gracious me," says the other.

    "And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He'd be 18 now," whispers the first Muslim mother. "Yes," says the friend enthusiastically. "I remember when he first started school." "He's a martyr too now" says the Muslim mum, with tears in her eyes.

    After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and says:

    "They blow up so fast, don't they?"
  10. The myth that Muslims don't drink is over.

    One of them had 5 shots before breakfast this morning!
  11. Apparently Osama Bin Laden is a choc-a-holic and particularly fond of smarties...on 7/7 he got through three tubes and a Double-decker...

    Note: that appeared on my mobile sometime early in the hours of 8/7! The source was a very senior RA officer who ought to have known better, tsk, tsk! Luckily we all saw the funny side because let's face it there is always a funny side. When Mrs Cuddles was giving birth to our still-born daughter some years ago the anaesthetist was making a complete bollocks of putting in the line for the epidural. Eventually he was ready and said "Just a little prick.." to which I replied "Oh don't be so hard on yourself doc'"...So "sick jokes" do have a value in coping with bad things as well as appealing to the warped military SOH!
  12. thought you'd like this!!!!

    Attached Files:

  13. spot on lol