Lizard People of Doom

#1
My personal favourite conspiracy theory has to be that of the shape-shifting lizard illuminati who secretly rule the world. One proponent of the lizard theory is John Rhodes who runs the website:

Reptoids.com

Apparently the world is run by a subterranean race of humanoid lizards. However Rhodes fails to explain how a race far more advanced and intelligent than us has failed to take control of the planet's surface and merely busies itself with tinkering around at the edge of our existence.

For more hilarity visit Above Top Secret which is, frankly, a wet dream for those who find conspiracy theories hilarious.

Remember the CIA destroyed the Twin Towers, Lizards control the earth, the Bildeberg group seeks to establish a New World Order under the control of the evil UN and the world will end in 2012 because the Mayan calendar says so and the Mayans were controlled by aliens so they must be right.

Edited for letting a five year old write my post.
 
#2
I once received an email asking if I would reveal the secrets of time travel or had the parts (don't recall what they all were) to complete a time travel device. It was actually a very long winded and serious sounding email.

I replied that I did indeed have such parts but that parting with them would cost a lot of money. Never heard from him after that.
 
#3
ghost_us said:
I once received an email asking if I would reveal the secrets of time travel or had the parts (don't recall what they all were) to complete a time travel device. It was actually a very long winded and serious sounding email.

I replied that I did indeed have such parts but that parting with them would cost a lot of money. Never heard from him after that.
I was wondering what had happened to my flux capacitor and ion accelerometer. Just try not to kill my great-grandfather on your travels won't you?
 
#4
Having checked out the alarming warning from 'a Norwegian politician' on the Above Top Secret link, 'New' Labour must be chuffed to monkeys that a Dark Star will destroy all life on the surface of the planet - thereby avoiding the inevitable embarrassment of their failure to deliver the London Olympics on time.

Although hang on a minute....all that land compulsory purchased in East London.......projected costs many times what it should cost to build a stadium and swimming pool....they're building an underground bunker in the guise of an Olympic Village. Just for them though, not for us. Oh God, the world will be repopulated by Gordon Brown and Ruth Kelly as the new Adam and Eve - a race of one-eyed, hermaphrodite dwarves, devoid of any fun and all common sense, the world re-created in their own appalling image. God, someone get me a pistol.
 
#5
Fifth_Columnist said:
Having checked out the alarming warning from 'a Norwegian politician' on the Above Top Secret link, 'New' Labour must be chuffed to monkeys that a Dark Star will destroy all life on the surface of the planet - thereby avoiding the inevitable embarrassment of their failure to deliver the London Olympics on time.

Although hang on a minute....all that land compulsory purchased in East London.......projected costs many times what it should cost to build a stadium and swimming pool....they're building an underground bunker in the guise of an Olympic Village. Just for them though, not for us. Oh God, the world will be repopulated by Gordon Brown and Ruth Kelly as the new Adam and Eve - a race of one-eyed, hermaphrodite dwarves, devoid of any fun and all common sense, the world re-created in their own appalling image. God, someone get me a pistol.
It's worse than I thought, I'd rather face my fate at the hands of the lizard people than some pseudo-gamine porridge wogs hell bent on establishing Brownite Blairism in the wake of Armageddon.
 
#6
Bat_Crab said:
Fifth_Columnist said:
Having checked out the alarming warning from 'a Norwegian politician' on the Above Top Secret link, 'New' Labour must be chuffed to monkeys that a Dark Star will destroy all life on the surface of the planet - thereby avoiding the inevitable embarrassment of their failure to deliver the London Olympics on time.

Although hang on a minute....all that land compulsory purchased in East London.......projected costs many times what it should cost to build a stadium and swimming pool....they're building an underground bunker in the guise of an Olympic Village. Just for them though, not for us. Oh God, the world will be repopulated by Gordon Brown and Ruth Kelly as the new Adam and Eve - a race of one-eyed, hermaphrodite dwarves, devoid of any fun and all common sense, the world re-created in their own appalling image. God, someone get me a pistol.
It's worse than I thought, I'd rather face my fate at the hands of the lizard people than some pseudo-gamine porridge wogs hell bent on establishing Brownite Blairism in the wake of Armageddon.
David Icke and Reptilian humanoids
In 1999, Icke wrote and published The Biggest Secret: The Book that Will Change the World, in which he identified the extraterrestrial Prison Warders as reptilians from the constellation Draco. [22]They walk erect and appear to be human, living not only on the planets they come from, but also in caverns and tunnels under the earth. They have cross-bred with humans, which has created "hybrids" who are "possessed" by the full-blooded reptilians. [23] The reptiles' hybrid reptilian-human DNA allows them to change from reptilian to human form if they consume human blood. Icke has drawn parallels with the 1980s science-fiction series V, in which the earth is taken over by reptiloid aliens disguised as humans.

According to Icke, the reptilian group includes many prominent people and practically every world leader from Britain's late Queen Mother to George H.W. Bush, Hillary Clinton, Harold Wilson, and Tony Blair
. These people are either themselves reptilian, or work for the reptiles as what Icke calls slave-like victims of multiple personality disorder: "The Rothschilds, Rockefellers, the British royal family, and the ruling political and economic families of the U.S. and the rest of the world come from these SAME bloodlines. It is not because of snobbery, it is to hold as best they can a genetic structure — the reptilian-mammalian DNA combination which allows them to 'shape-shift'."

Icke has since published additional books on the same theme. His latest work sees George W. Bush, also a reptilian, playing a key role in what Icke alleges is a 9/11 conspiracy. In Tales From The Time Loop and other works, Icke states that most organized religions, especially Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, are Illuminati creations designed to divide and conquer the human race through endless conflicts. In a similar vein, Icke believes racial and ethnic divisions are an illusion promoted by the reptilians, and that racism fuels the Illuminati agenda.
We reptilians are gentle folk provided there is a steady supply of juicy hamsters.
 
#7
[/quote]We reptilians are gentle folk provided there is a steady supply of juicy hamsters.[/quote]

I prefer Squirrels. With a nice Chianti.....
 
#9
But perhaps the counter attack has been started in Miami, FL, US
Clicky

The CIA cleverly covered their tracks by getting scientists to claim it is a natural phenomenon but we know better don't we.
 
#11
theslayerofmen said:
Its all in my Avatar. :roll:
You mean the Stonecutters are Lizard People as well?! 8O 8O
 
#13
Blairite Brownism? What if it should turn out to be Brownite Blairism? The horror...the horror...


Edited to add: Actually the lizard people have been really nice to work for, so much more "people oriented" than the Giant Space Ants from Nekralon Beta 5...with them its just "Queen, queen, queen...all the time"
 
#14
Is this really a conspiracy theory or merely sounding out plot devices for saturday morning japanese animated cartoon show for kids? i can come up with so many conspiracy theories, I could be a writer for Dallas( if it was still being made!)
 
#15
No more or less convincing than any of the mainstream religions out there 8)
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#16
I fully agree that the conspiracy is in fact, fact! As I look at my line manager, and several Very Senior persons here, I can clearly see the reptilian features, the endless flicking of the tongue over dry, scaly lips. The coldness in the eyes, the obvious unwarmed blood and the sinuous slithering as the slip past.
There is no doubt in my mind that we are ruled by reptiles, and that we must make the best of it. Until the day comes when we can rise up, throw off our shackles and pick them up by their tails!
 
#17
Cuddles said:
Blairite Brownism? What if it should turn out to be Brownite Blairism? The horror...the horror...


Edited to add: Actually the lizard people have been really nice to work for, so much more "people oriented" than the Giant Space Ants from Nekralon Beta 5...with them its just "Queen, queen, queen...all the time"[/quote]


WALT - I was on Nekralon Beta 5 for 3 years (their time - after taking into account Einsteinian time dilation) and I never saw you. Which nest did you drink in? I served with the Royal Jelly Protection Unit :twisted:

Oh and whenever I feel sad - I always look in Davids' Website http://www.davidicke.com/index.php/

I then realise there are people a lot worse off than me :D
 
#18
old_fat_and_hairy said:
I fully agree that the conspiracy is in fact, fact! As I look at my line manager, and several Very Senior persons here, I can clearly see the reptilian features, the endless flicking of the tongue over dry, scaly lips. The coldness in the eyes, the obvious unwarmed blood and the sinuous slithering as the slip past.
There is no doubt in my mind that we are ruled by reptiles, and that we must make the best of it. Until the day comes when we can rise up, throw off our shackles and pick them up by their tails!
won't their tails fall off when you try to pick them up though?? :?
 

Grownup_Rafbrat

LE
Book Reviewer
#20
Oh excellent, I can now see my boss as a chit-chat, and that put's all his meanderings into perspective.
 
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