Liverpool football

The new Liverpool manager sent scouts out around the world looking for a new striker to replace Mchael Owen and hopefully win liverpool the title.
One of the scouts informs him of a young Iraqi who he thinks will turn out to be a true superstar. The Liverpool manager flies to Baghdad to watch him and is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to Anfield. Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down to Man Utd with only 20 minutes left. The manager gives the young Iraqi striker the nod and on he goes.

The lad is a sensation, scores 5 in 20 minutes and wins the game for Liverpool.

The fans are delighted, the players are delighted and the media love the new star.

When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in English football.

“Hello mum, guess what?” he says. “I played for 20 minutes today, we werw 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me.”

“Wonderful,” says his mum, “let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were ambushed and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters, while you were were having a good time.”

The young lad is very upset, “What can I say mum, but I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry?!” says his mum, “It’s your fault we moved to Liverpool in the first place!”
not quite liverpool joke but..

3 old footie fans all pray to god, 1st one says "when will Brazil next win the world cup"
God answers " 2010"
"Oh my i will dead by then"

2nd one parys to God "when will Germany next win the world cup"

"2014" Says God
"i will be dead by then" says the guy

3rd man prays"when will England win the world cup"
God says "I will be dead by then"

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