Why not a competition - teams from:
Wales v. AMs at the Millenium Stadium;
The Midlands v. combined local MP'sthey can take on at the NEC; Southerners as you suggest, at Earls Court.
Catterick should be a fair venue for "oop North"
Scotland v. MSPs
NI v. Stormont AMs
Hain could take a kicking from both the Wales and NI teams (just to be fair)
then a grand finale - combined non-walts v combined politicians at ... Wembley perhaps