Little Tony

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Me!_Amph!!, Nov 30, 2007.

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  1. Another one sent to my DII. Kids are great aint they....


    LITTLE TONY ON MATH

    A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
    And you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little
    TONY.

    He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."

    The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your Thinking."

    Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU.

    There are 3 womensitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.

    Whichone is married?"

    The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one
    that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

    To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the
    wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."

    LITTLE TONY ON MATH AGAIN

    Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
    "Why?" asks the father?

    "The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'", replies TONY.

    "But that's right!" says his dad.

    "Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"

    "What's the fucking difference?" asks the father.

    "That's what I said!"

    LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH

    Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to
    learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a
    multi-syllable word?"

    TONY says "Mas-tur-bate."

    Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."
    Little TONY says , "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blow job."

    LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR

    Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to
    go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a Piss!!"

    The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use in
    this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'. Please use
    the word 'ur-I-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to Go."

    Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but
    If you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"

    LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR AGAIN

    One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.

    First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father Bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."

    "Very good , Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little

    Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."

    She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly called

    On little TONY.

    "Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she Was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!'"

    LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER

    Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after
    another. After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him Said,
    "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you
    acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat"

    Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
    The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
    Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own fucking business."

    I LOVE little Tony!!