Little Olde England-shire

Discussion in 'Multinational HQ' started by Goatman, Jul 14, 2006.

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  1. Goatman

    Goatman LE Book Reviewer

    One of the ( has to be said) many things that irritates Brits is the rose tinted sacharine parody of our sceptered isle portrayed by Disney, Hollywood and the US media.

    This is Britain in 2006. Barely a chirpy Cockney Dick Van Dyke or a bowler hatted gent in sight.... No doubt if you live in Detroit, the Bronx or South Central you will have a wry smile:

    Story from BBC NEWS:
  2. Please note Goatman, despite it's small population, Scotland is actually the knife crime capital of Europe so you may want to modify the name of this thread towards a more tartan title to bring a bit more accuracy to it.
  3. Goatman

    Goatman LE Book Reviewer


    The title is a reference to Dead Ringers portrayal of Mister President - the one who starts all his speeches with

    ' My Fellow Amphibians '.......

    As a Brit rather than an Englishman, I have never mistaken England for Britain...catch on hey ?

    PS Did you know that Newkie Brown is the most expensive beer in China ?
  4. I met an American couple a few years ago near Bristol who had happily landed at Heathrow, honestly expecting this Sceptre Isle to look like a set from an Arthurian legend, with maidens throwing buckets of rose water from the windows of crooked half-timbered buildings onto cheerful Cockneys down below. Having picked up the 'rental car' they had wobbled out onto the A4 and spent the next four hours stumbling around the less salubrious parts of Slough until they got 'lucky' and escaped in the direction of Reading.

    Having aged terribly, they eventually reached safety in Bath and were absolutely terrified of the journey back.

    They offered me a pile of money to drive them back to Heathrow but I declined. Anyway, I was laughing too much.
  5. Goatman wrote:

    PS Did you know that Newkie Brown is the most expensive beer in China ?

    I didn't even know they had beer in China! Dead democracy protesters but not beer...
  6. And Glasgow is the harbinger of knife crime - so don't blame all of Scotland, 65% of which is uninhabited.
  7. You make Scotland sound like Accrington.
    Sorry. I thouhgt you wrote uninhabitable!
  8. Scotland is more like Bolton actually. Everyone knows it's there but nobody wants to go there.
  9. Surprised someone handed in that blade that looks like a khukri. Some serious moolah on eBay for one of those.
  10. you could have driven them through the best part of the UK, shame they had a bad introduction
  11. Yep, we just don't have the class of Benwell...............where they use guns :lol: .
  12. I saw another pic recently with a serious faced copper holding a very large curved bladed weapon. Look at vicious horrible stuff we have to deal with screamed his expression. Sadly the photo failed to have the required chastening effect on me since it was clearly a Klingon weaponof the type shown below.


    Now clearly this is the sort of thing which could give you a nasty cut but its hardly the sort of thing that enables pissed up teenagers to ruin their lives at 0130 outside "Chlamydias".

    I also wondered what sort of trekkie/klingon type thing gets seperated from his weapon that easily. (Mum must have turned it in while he was at college).

  13. lol :eek:
    Thats what I've been thinking of all this time, middle class mothers redding out the garage, throw the collecters, hunting and old kitchen Knives in the silly containers.
    I mean what mugger or gang member is gona hand in the very item that makes him hard or earn money :eek: :eek:
  14. Was that the bif fcuk off curved one? About 4/5 feet big? That was one hell of a blade. Imagine walking into the Police station with that. "Er mister copper, I wanna hand in me blade as part ov your amnesty fing." Cue copper filling his pants.
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