Little Olde England-shire

Goatman

ADC
Book Reviewer
#1
One of the ( has to be said) many things that irritates Brits is the rose tinted sacharine parody of our sceptered isle portrayed by Disney, Hollywood and the US media.

This is Britain in 2006. Barely a chirpy Cockney Dick Van Dyke or a bowler hatted gent in sight.... No doubt if you live in Detroit, the Bronx or South Central you will have a wry smile:

Amnesty nets over 100,000 knives
More than 100,000 weapons were handed to police in England, Scotland and Wales during a national knife amnesty.
During the five-week amnesty, which ended on 30 June, people could dispose of knives in secure bins without being prosecuted for possession.



The Association of Chief Police Officers' Tony Melville thanked everyone who made use of the amnesty.

"Every knife that is taken off our streets is one that cannot be used to kill, maim or intimidate," he said.

Mr Melville, Acpo's lead official on knife crime and assistant chief constable of Devon and Cornwall, said the move had helped make communities into safer places.

"The amnesty is certainly a step in the right direction and I hope it will prove to be a catalyst in changing the culture of routine knife possession, minimising the opportunity for the serious harm that can follow from the violent use of a knife," he added.

Crushed

Across England and Wales, a total of 89,864 weapons were handed in to police stations.

On Friday, the Metropolitan Police will recycle thousands of knives at a metal recycling plant in Hertfordshire.

Around 8,000 knives surrendered to police in the capital will be crushed and the metal will then be sent to Cardiff and used to make reinforcement rods for concrete blocks in new buildings.


To build on the success, the Home Office said it had made available £500,000 for police forces in England and Wales for measures such as high visibility police patrols in knife crime hotspots and weapons awareness programme in schools.

In Scotland, the knife amnesty was part of a year-long anti-violence campaign called Safer Scotland.

North of the border 12,645 knives and other weapons were surrendered during the five-week amnesty, it was announced last week. The 220 bins across the country contained an array of weapons including lock knives, machetes, swords, meat cleavers, axes and bayonets.


Awareness programmes

The government says it is encouraging police forces to reduce knife crime through measures including:


Weapon awareness programmes for schools and youth groups

Leaflet and poster campaigns aimed at young people

Working with retailers to prevent them selling knives to under 16s

Encouraging licensed premises to scan customers for knives

Greater use of magnetic searches in public places such as bus and train stations

Use of intelligence to target people thought to be carrying knives
Home Office Minister Vernon Coaker said the government would continue working "in a number of ways" with police and local communities to tackle knife crime.

"I think people are particularly pleased about the fact that schools will now have the opportunity to search for knives where there's a need to do that," he told BBC News.

"It will help us in tackling knife crime in our communities and in our schools and is an important part of our strategy."
Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/1/hi/uk/5178720.stm
 
#2
Please note Goatman, despite it's small population, Scotland is actually the knife crime capital of Europe so you may want to modify the name of this thread towards a more tartan title to bring a bit more accuracy to it.
 

Goatman

ADC
Book Reviewer
#3
W-P,

The title is a reference to Dead Ringers portrayal of Mister President - the one who starts all his speeches with

' My Fellow Amphibians '.......

As a Brit rather than an Englishman, I have never mistaken England for Britain...catch on hey ?


PS Did you know that Newkie Brown is the most expensive beer in China ?
 
#4
I met an American couple a few years ago near Bristol who had happily landed at Heathrow, honestly expecting this Sceptre Isle to look like a set from an Arthurian legend, with maidens throwing buckets of rose water from the windows of crooked half-timbered buildings onto cheerful Cockneys down below. Having picked up the 'rental car' they had wobbled out onto the A4 and spent the next four hours stumbling around the less salubrious parts of Slough until they got 'lucky' and escaped in the direction of Reading.

Having aged terribly, they eventually reached safety in Bath and were absolutely terrified of the journey back.

They offered me a pile of money to drive them back to Heathrow but I declined. Anyway, I was laughing too much.
 
#5
Goatman wrote:

PS Did you know that Newkie Brown is the most expensive beer in China ?

I didn't even know they had beer in China! Dead democracy protesters but not beer...
 
#6
Warrior_Poet said:
Please note Goatman, despite it's small population, Scotland is actually the knife crime capital of Europe so you may want to modify the name of this thread towards a more tartan title to bring a bit more accuracy to it.
And Glasgow is the harbinger of knife crime - so don't blame all of Scotland, 65% of which is uninhabited.
 
#7
GDav said:
Warrior_Poet said:
Please note Goatman, despite it's small population, Scotland is actually the knife crime capital of Europe so you may want to modify the name of this thread towards a more tartan title to bring a bit more accuracy to it.
And Glasgow is the harbinger of knife crime - so don't blame all of Scotland, 65% of which is uninhabited.
You make Scotland sound like Accrington.
Sorry. I thouhgt you wrote uninhabitable!
 
#8
Scotland is more like Bolton actually. Everyone knows it's there but nobody wants to go there.
 
#9
Surprised someone handed in that blade that looks like a khukri. Some serious moolah on eBay for one of those.
 
#10
Awol said:
I met an American couple a few years ago near Bristol who had happily landed at Heathrow, honestly expecting this Sceptre Isle to look like a set from an Arthurian legend, with maidens throwing buckets of rose water from the windows of crooked half-timbered buildings onto cheerful Cockneys down below. Having picked up the 'rental car' they had wobbled out onto the A4 and spent the next four hours stumbling around the less salubrious parts of Slough until they got 'lucky' and escaped in the direction of Reading.

Having aged terribly, they eventually reached safety in Bath and were absolutely terrified of the journey back.

They offered me a pile of money to drive them back to Heathrow but I declined. Anyway, I was laughing too much.
you could have driven them through the best part of the UK, shame they had a bad introduction
 
B

Biscuits_AB

Guest
#11
Warrior_Poet said:
Please note Goatman, despite it's small population, Scotland is actually the knife crime capital of Europe so you may want to modify the name of this thread towards a more tartan title to bring a bit more accuracy to it.
Yep, we just don't have the class of Benwell...............where they use guns :lol: .
 
#12
stabandswat said:
Surprised someone handed in that blade that looks like a khukri. Some serious moolah on eBay for one of those.
I saw another pic recently with a serious faced copper holding a very large curved bladed weapon. Look at vicious horrible stuff we have to deal with screamed his expression. Sadly the photo failed to have the required chastening effect on me since it was clearly a Klingon weaponof the type shown below.



Now clearly this is the sort of thing which could give you a nasty cut but its hardly the sort of thing that enables pissed up teenagers to ruin their lives at 0130 outside "Chlamydias".

I also wondered what sort of trekkie/klingon type thing gets seperated from his weapon that easily. (Mum must have turned it in while he was at college).
 
#13
CutLunchCommando said:
stabandswat said:
Surprised someone handed in that blade that looks like a khukri. Some serious moolah on eBay for one of those.
I saw another pic recently with a serious faced copper holding a very large curved bladed weapon. Look at vicious horrible stuff we have to deal with screamed his expression. Sadly the photo failed to have the required chastening effect on me since it was clearly a Klingon weaponof the type shown below.



Now clearly this is the sort of thing which could give you a nasty cut but its hardly the sort of thing that enables pissed up teenagers to ruin their lives at 0130 outside "Chlamydias".

I also wondered what sort of trekkie/klingon type thing gets seperated from his weapon that easily. (Mum must have turned it in while he was at college).

lol :eek:
Thats what I've been thinking of all this time, middle class mothers redding out the garage, throw the collecters, hunting and old kitchen Knives in the silly containers.
I mean what mugger or gang member is gona hand in the very item that makes him hard or earn money :eek: :eek:
 
#14
Was that the bif fcuk off curved one? About 4/5 feet big? That was one hell of a blade. Imagine walking into the Police station with that. "Er mister copper, I wanna hand in me blade as part ov your amnesty fing." Cue copper filling his pants.
 
#17
stabandswat said:
Was that the bif fcuk off curved one? About 4/5 feet big? That was one hell of a blade. Imagine walking into the Police station with that. "Er mister copper, I wanna hand in me blade as part ov your amnesty fing." Cue copper filling his pants.


:eek:
Its a wonder they didnt call an armed responce team in :eek:
 
B

Biscuits_AB

Guest
#18
Warrior_Poet said:
Goatman wrote:

PS Did you know that Newkie Brown is the most expensive beer in China ?

I didn't even know they had beer in China! Dead democracy protesters but not beer...

Touch paper lit..............fiiizzzzzzzzz........stand by......

Angry, angry man.
 
#19
It's called a Bat'leth, first used in Star Trek The Next Generation. The newspaper I read and saw the picture in claimed that 'It's a weapon designed to decapitate it's victims.' I pissed myself laughing. Of course it's not bloody used for that...

It's used to break the jaw and then you thrust the body of the weapon into the person's chest, doing a fair bit of damage, up and in.
 
B

Biscuits_AB

Guest
#20
amour_de_moutons said:
It's called a Bat'leth, first used in Star Trek The Next Generation. The newspaper I read and saw the picture in claimed that 'It's a weapon designed to decapitate it's victims.' I pissed myself laughing. Of course it's not bloody used for that...

It's used to break the jaw and then you thrust the body of the weapon into the person's chest, doing a fair bit of damage, up and in.
Have you got one of these tucked away in the shed? You sound like an expert.
 

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