Little johnny

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by portlandbill, Jun 13, 2011.

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  1. :|little johnny

    Little Johnny’s father asked him, "Do you know about the birds and the bees?"
    "I don’t want to know!" little Johnny said, bursting into tears.
    Confused, the father asked little Johnny what was wrong.
    "Oh dad," Little Johnny sobbed, "At age six I got the ’there’s no Santa’ speech. At age seven I got the ’there’s no Easter bunny’ speech. Then at age 8 you hit me with the ’there’s no tooth fairy’ speech! If you’re going to tell me now that grown-ups don’t really fcuk, I’ve got nothing left to live for!"
    One day the teacher walked to the back of the room where Johnny was, and he had his hand down his pants.
    The Teacher asked, "Johnny, what are you doing?"
    Then, Johnny said, "It hurts down there."
    "Well then, you need to go to the nurse and see if you can go home", said the teacher.
    A little while later, Johnny came back to classroom and sat back down.
    Then the teacher came to the back of the room again, and he had his dick haging out of his pants.
    The teacher said, "Johnny, what’s that doing hanging out of your pants?!"
    Then Johnny said, "My mommy said if I can stick it out until noon, she’ll come and pick me up."

    One day there was this little boy named Johny he had to go to the bathroom so he raised his hand and asked the teacher "can I go to the bathroom." she said no.
    Then 5 mins later he raised his hand and said "damit I have to piss can I go to the bathroom."She said "no not with that mouth."She said now go to the corner and say your a,b,c’s.frontwords and backwords
    He went to the corner and said "a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y,z"
    Then he said "z,y,x,w,v,u,t,s,r,q,o,n,m,l,k,j,i,h,g,f,e,d,c,b,a"
    Then she said "Where is the p."
    Lil Johny said "Running down my leg."
    The teacher asks Little Johnny "Which body part goes to heaven first?"
    Little Johnny replies "The feet miss"
    So the teacher says "Why the feet?"
    And Little Johnny says "Because when I go in my mummys bedroom at night she has her legs in the air shouting ’Oh my God I’m coming’"
    The teacher says, "Okay, class, we’re going to play a game today. I want everyone to give me a sentence with the word ’perhaps’ in it."
    Claude says, "Perhaps if we are good, the teacher won’t give us any homework."
    The teacher says, "Very good, Claude."
    Mary says, "The sky is very dark... perhaps it’s going to rain." The teacher says, "Very good, Mary."
    She calls on Little Johnny in the back.
    Johnny says, "Yesterday, when I got home from school, my sister and her music teacher both had their pants down to their ankles. Perhaps they were gonna pee on the piano

    In school Mrs. Rogers was playing a word game with the kids.
    She would shout out a letter and then pick on a student, and the student would pick a word that starts with the letter.
    Mrs. Rogers said the letter "B" and Johnny raised his hand.
    Since Mrs. Rogers thought he’d say bitch She called on Sally instead. Sally said Ball
    Mrs. Rogers said the letter "P", and Johnny raised his hand again.
    Since Mrs. Rogers thought he’d say Pussy, she called on Frank, who said paper.
    Finally, Mrs. Rogers said the letter "R", and again Johnny raised his hand.
    Mrs. Rogers couldn’t think of a bad word that started with "R" so she picked Johnny.
    Johnny hesitated and said "Rat" .... "A Big Mother Fcuking Rat"
    Little Johnny goes to school one day and the teacher has a brown paper bag
    She reaches her hand in it and says it’s round, it’s got a stem, and it’s got a leaf.
    Little Johnny raises his hand and says it’s an apple, it’s an apple.
    Then he says now let me give you one.
    He reaches his hand in his pocket and says it’s round, it’s hard , and it’s got a head.
    The teacher says Ohh Johnny that’s grose.
    Little Johnny says no it’s a quater but I like the way you’re thinking.:excited::pl:=|