List of animals that are acceptable to kill?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by regular_imbiber, Sep 22, 2010.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Obviously dogs are out as we can see by the wailing and gnashing of teeth on here today.

    I take it wasps,blue-bottles and possibly even pigeons are ok? They are all generally accepted as pests so I presume no-one feels any remorse about slotting or garotting them?

    In a previous life I used to work as a fish-farmer on the West Coast of Scotland and the amount of death and carnage that was dished out in that job would take some beating.

    I'll start off with the fairly easy and obvious ones:

    Trout (Sea and Rainbow)
    Salmon
    Mullet
    Mackerel
    Sea Gulls


    I'm heading towards warm blooded creatures now and dont want to upset anyone so can we please have an exhaustive list from the townies and tree-huggers :nod:
     
  2. cows, sheep, pigs, goats, chickens, wild boar, deer, geese, ducks, wabbits and Liverpudlians
     
  3. Deer. Her Majesty's enemies. Her Majesty's ex-daughter-in-law.
     
  4. Surely horses should be permissable? Yummy in my tummy.
     
  5. Jesus woman, do you eat rabbit?.........sicko.

    Any pointless creature as has been stated. Wasps, flies, daddy long legs, mosquitoes. I would add cats to that list, they disgust me with their obnoxious 'I'm better than you' behaviour. Fuck off cats, you can't intimidate me.
     
  6. My ex brother in law recently 'bagged' his first waskally wabbit, returned home proudly with his prize to refer to his 'how to skin a wabbit' book. He placed it on the kitchen table while he read (you gun toting huntin' and fishin' types can see where this is going can't you?)

    As he turned back to the object of his tummy-lust, he was bemused to see a faint misty grey stain spreading in all directions across the white chopping board. Hopping and skipping excitedly back to his plunder he gazed down.......to see about 7 million fucked off fleas, rucksacks over their shoulders, muttering in a disgruntled fashion about no-notice evictions heading straight for his living room shag-pile!!


    Lesson learnt....he's got a butchers block in the garage now. Any tips on 'persuading' fleas to sling their hook before getting the dinner home gratefully received!!
     
  7. Chavs (and more chavs to get the required 10+ characters)
     
  8. Dolphins (because they're going to take over the world)
    Swans (because they're deformed geese and especially with fire works)
    Cats (they're vermin, unless they have boobies, refer here http://www.arrse.co.uk/naafi-bar/149230-id-just-like-raise-issue.html)
    Rhinos (because they're deformed hippos)
    Hippos (because they're deformed rhinos)
    Elephants (they're the product of unnatural interspecies breeding between rhinos and hippos)
     
  9. Stop press...she's dead already!!


    You CAN'T mean the ginger one...you like chubby gingers!!
     
  10. Squirrels (Grey)
    Pike
    Perch
    Carp
    Ducks (all variants)
    Guinea Fowl
    Peafowl (yummy)
    Rabbits
    Hare
    Deer (Roe, Red, Fallow and Muntjac)
    Rooks
    Crows
    Pigeons
    Magpies
    Canada Geese (Excellent alternative to Turkey)
    Snipe
    Pheasant
    Woodcock (if you can hit the bastards)
    Foxes
    Wild Boar
    All sea fish
    Mice
    Rats (with a terrier)
    Mink
    Moles
     
  11. Monkeys (they're thick chimps)
    Chimps (they're thick humans)
    Gorillas (they're the product of a human/chimp breeding programme)
     

  12. Hypontise the fluffy little bunny with a bright light. Whilst Bugsy is mesmerised slowly, slowly mind, walk up to it. Get as close as you can, nose to nose if possible and blast it with ye olde Blunderbuss. Granted, there may not be much rabbit left but the fleas will about 10 yards away from the bloody mangled carcass. Job done.
     
  13. wedge_cadman

    wedge_cadman War Hero Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Beat me to it, therefore I second that motion
     
  14. I suppose it saves mincing them for wabbit wissoles!!
     
  15. Any ARSE NAL fan who complains about their precious players getting "roughed up", pathetic wasters!