LINE BOOK

#1
the Line Book - always good for morale in sections... and which i think could be shared with the whole Corps, by means of this newfangled interweb thingy :)

so from now on - if someone says something stupid, stick it here :) retrospective entries welcome...

finally got off my arrse and created one, after this comment today. (reproduced with the kind permission of the man in question, an arrse lurker)

SNCO in sy sect, discussing a unit. the juniors mention that when they visited a new armoury build, the combination key box had been installed upside down, thus making opening a little more awkward than when it was the right way up.

SNCO announces: "yeah, because all your 5 clockwise, 4 anticlockwise would be the other way round."



checked for wah, then ripped the piss :D
 
#2
You're the snco aren't you?
 
#3
wasn't me, but i'm one of only two there, so that narrows it down a bit i guess :)

if we added every stupid thing i say, this thread would be loooooooooong lol
 
#4
Int Section on Exercise in deepest darkest Europe talking about the digging of shell scrapes.........

JNCO to rest of Section 'I hope we don't have to dig them. I'm a shit digger.........'

doh
 
#5
Colchester Det 90 Sy Sect, 1973 (yes, ok...)
Mrs Wummun, sect seckertary, being given a lift in to the office by JNCOs in Sect Covert Brown Mini: "Ooh, can you stop at the paper shop and get me a 'Woman', please, Whisky, dear?"

LCpl Whisky, looking at the two bob in his hand: "You won't get one for that, love. I've been trying there for ages."

"Oooh, you are awful!!"
 
#6
While here (see pic), a young, luscious and slightly wet lass asked (during the NBC classes, when the discussion concerned eating, drinking and other natural bodily activities under NBC conditions) how sex was conducted.

She was looked at, wonderingly, for many seconds by the DS (aged and salty SNCOs) and with dilated pupils by her co-students.
 

Attachments

#7
We convinced one of our new LCpls once that the cam nets we were using to cover our wagons were nbc proof. They had a special material in them that sucks up all the badness.



Funnily enough he was infact the same guy who regularly looked when we told him his leg was on fire. 8O
 
#8
Harold_The_Clever_Sheep said:
Int Section on Exercise in deepest darkest Europe talking about the digging of shell scrapes.........

JNCO to rest of Section 'I hope we don't have to dig them. I'm a s*** digger.........'

doh
oh and i forgot to add one unwritten rule...






linebook entries should usually be funny ;)
 
#9
Whiskybreath said:
While here (see pic), a young, luscious and slightly wet lass asked (during the NBC classes, when the discussion concerned eating, drinking and other natural bodily activities under NBC conditions) how sex was conducted.

She was looked at, wonderingly, for many seconds by the DS (aged and salty SNCOs) and with dilated pupils by her co-students.
WB fecking hell Arsbeck Camp I'd forgotten that place (or at least hidden it deep in the recesses of my mind). Can@t say many of us relished our annual attendance there.
 
#10
Arrsebeck... stunning rat infested accommodation (or 'mice' if the f***wits I shared with are to be believed. It was the size of a rat and had a ratty tail and ratty teeth, not to mention the ratty cr** on the bottom bunks).
 
#11
It were a lovely place. The DS used to shepherd all the local wildlife for miles around (deer, bunnies, other four-legged foodstuffs) onto the ranges (OOB to civpop) in the days before the hunting season began. Pee'd off the hunters something awful.
 
#12
ok, i'll cough to one. chatting to someone just returned from Telic yesterday, getting the gen for my own sojourn later in the year.

he was telling me about how hot it can get in the corimecs, when the generator fails and the air conditioning goes off. without thinking, i said:

"surely there must be desk fans or something you can use instead when the A/C is off?"

doh. :roll:
 
#13
Whiskybreath said:
Colchester Det 90 Sy Sect, 1973 (yes, ok...)
Mrs Wummun, sect seckertary, being given a lift in to the office by JNCOs in Sect Covert Brown Mini: "Ooh, can you stop at the paper shop and get me a 'Woman', please, Whisky, dear?"

LCpl Whisky, looking at the two bob in his hand: "You won't get one for that, love. I've been trying there for ages."

"Oooh, you are awful!!"
Colchester must have been upmarket.
You could get two women for that in Northcamp, Aldershot in the mid eighties. :)
 
#14
Best linebook entry I ever read was from 101 Regt's...recording a conversation in the Mess:

"Do you think we could get the RMR to take X (a porcine officer) out in one of their shiny inflatable boats and drop him in the Tyne?"

"I thought X was one of their inflatable boats"
 
#15
Cuddles said:
Best linebook entry I ever read was from 101 Regt's...recording a conversation in the Mess:

"Do you think we could get the RMR to take X (a porcine officer) out in one of their shiny inflatable boats and drop him in the Tyne?"

"I thought X was one of their inflatable boats"
*tumbleweed* :D
 
#17
CRmeansCeilingReached said:
Cuddles said:
Best linebook entry I ever read was from 101 Regt's...recording a conversation in the Mess:

"Do you think we could get the RMR to take X (a porcine officer) out in one of their shiny inflatable boats and drop him in the Tyne?"

"I thought X was one of their inflatable boats"
*tumbleweed* :D
Maybe you had to know major K**** H******. A man famous for this exchange in the officers mess on several occasions:

"In the mess, call me K****"

"Yes sir"

Northumbrians of a certain vintage will remember this BC NUOTC as "call me K****" in fact...
 
#18
CRmeansCeilingReached said:
ok, i'll cough to one. chatting to someone just returned from Telic yesterday, getting the gen for my own sojourn later in the year.

he was telling me about how hot it can get in the corimecs, when the generator fails and the air conditioning goes off. without thinking, i said:

"surely there must be desk fans or something you can use instead when the A/C is off?"

doh. :roll:
Not that crazy actually mate. Desk fans came into their own when we had the ac set to minus 34 for a full deployment freezing it up and breaking it.

I suppose if the power did go, then you could blow on the fan blades really hard and make it go. 8O
 
#19
THE_EDITOR said:
The line every day from you is NATO with extra sugar - that isnt funny at all.........
Sometimes I worry about this. I mean I'm not mental or anything but it's a concern!

What does NATO actually mean these days?

To be honest when I ask for NATO I expect milk and two sugars. However, I'm not sure what did it but it seems that NATO these days means only one sugar! Might have been FAS or something but NATO (Post options for change) seems more appropriate for the modern day one sugar man. If you still wish two sugars then just NATO should still be the order of the day. Asking for a pre-op might not get you the end result you desire.. well.. unless you're CR! :plotting:
 
#20
Last I heard.....


NATO = White 2 sugars

Julie Andrews = White Nun (None)

Whoopi Goldberg = Black Nun (None)
 

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