Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Arpie, Oct 9, 2007.

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  1. What's your favourite limerick?

    Mine is:

    There was a young lady from Bude,
    Who danced on the stage in the nude,
    One night from the front,
    A bloke shouted C*NT,
    Just like that, right out loud,
    Bloody rude.
  2. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    There was a young girl from the Azores
    Who's cunt was all covered in sores
    Not the dogs in the street
    Would touch the green meat
    That hung in festoons from her drawers.

    Lovely. And a true story too.
  3. Not quite correct, but topical all the same!!

    In rugby’s Darwinian stroke,
    Whole countries evolve into jokes:
    You’ll see Wallabies cry,
    Springboks that fly,
    Gaels that suck—and Kiwis that choke.
  4. There was a young man from Mauritius
    Who said "That last fu-ck was delicious"
    But next time I come
    It'll be up your bum
    Cos that boil on your cu-nt looks suspicious
    • Like Like x 1
  5. There was a man from Ghent
    Who had a penis so long it bent
    It was so much trouble
    That he kept it double
    And instead of coming he went.
    • Like Like x 1
  6. There was a young vampire called Mabel
    whos periods were always quite stable
    at every full moon
    she'd whip out a spoon
    and drink herself under the table
  7. There was a young girl from Pitlochry
    Who was having sex in the rockery
    When the gentleman cum
    All over her bum
    She said "this isnae a fcuk, it's a mockery!"
  8. There was a young lady from Coleshill.
    Who sat herself down on a moleshill,
    An inquisitve mole,
    Shoved his nose up her hole,
    The Lady's all right, but the mole's ill.
    • Like Like x 1
  9. There was a young gent from Buckingham
    who stood on the bridge at Upingham
    watching the stunts
    of the c*nts in the punts
    and the tricks of the pricks that were fu*king em
  10. Three dirty old witches from Kent,
    Took a man into a tent,
    Those three dirty witches,
    They pulled down his britches,
    And jumped on his Dick till it bent,
  11. A fancy young lad from Khartoum
    Once took a lesbian up to his room
    They argued all night
    As to who had the right
    To do what, to which and to whom.
    • Like Like x 1
  12. there was a young lady from ealing
    who had a peculiar feeling
    she laid on her back
    opened her crack
    and pi55ed all over the ceiling
  13. There was a young girl from Itchin,
    scratching her cnut in the kitchen,
    her mum said "rose, the pox i suppose?"
    she said "bollox,get on with your knitting"
  14. A doctor who's name was Juliet,
    Felt guilty, down and upset,
    Said, "With a patient of mine,
    I have sex all the time,"
    But the worst thing of all, I'm a Vet"
  15. An Argentine Gaucho named Bruno
    Said "There is one thing I do know
    A woman is fine
    And a sheep is divine
    But a llama is numero uno!"