Limericks

#1
Jow are we on stocks of Limericks?

There was a young parson of Harwich
Tried to grind his betrothed in a carriage.
She said, "No, you young goose,
Just try self-abuse.
And the other we'll try after marriage."
 
#2
A lad from Shepton Mallet
Selected his bride with a mallet
Smash smash smash smash
Smash smash smash smash
Smash smash smash smash she's had it.
 
#3
There was a young man from Nantucket,
Whose d*ck was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin, as he came on his chin,
If my ear was a kunt I could fukc it.
 
#6
Roses are red
Violets are blue.
This poem should rhyme...
But ...it does'nt.
So
Feck orf.
 
#7
Roses are red
Violets are blue.
This poem should rhyme...
But ...it does'nt.
So
Feck orf.
 
#8
A decrepit rabbi of Westmeath, liked to circumcise lads with his teeth.
It wasn't for leisure,
or sexual pleasure,
but to get the free cheese underneath.
 
#10
There was a young lady from philadelphia
Who found herself left on the shelfia
She muttered "Who cares?"
No one wanted her wares
So she cheerfully played with herselfia!
 
#11
There was a young lady from Aberystwyth
took grain to the mill to make grist with
The millers son Jack
Laid her flat on her back
and united the parts they pis&ed with
 
#12
There was a young man from Pitlochry
Who tried to have sex in a rockery
He said to his partner
A keen amateur gardener
This isn't a f*ck, its a mockery
 
#13
Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead
Now it goes to school with her
between to lumps of bread
 
#14
CQMS said:
Mary had a little lamb
She also had a bear
I've often seen her little lamb
.................


But I've never seen her DP'd and deep throating lionel blair??
 
#16
There was a young squaddie named Dave
Who dug up a prostitutes grave
She was mouldy as shit
and missing a tit
but think of the money he saved
 
#17
A lezzer who lived in Rangoon
Took a puffter up to her room
As she turned on the light
She said lets get this right
Who does what, and to whom.
 
#19
There was a young lady at sea
who said "How it hurts when I pee".
"I see", said the mate,
"That accounts for the state
of the Captain, the Purser, and me"
 
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