Limericks

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by OldRedCap, Sep 21, 2009.

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  1. Jow are we on stocks of Limericks?

    There was a young parson of Harwich
    Tried to grind his betrothed in a carriage.
    She said, "No, you young goose,
    Just try self-abuse.
    And the other we'll try after marriage."
     
  2. A lad from Shepton Mallet
    Selected his bride with a mallet
    Smash smash smash smash
    Smash smash smash smash
    Smash smash smash smash she's had it.
     
  3. There was a young man from Nantucket,
    Whose d*ck was so long he could suck it.
    He said with a grin, as he came on his chin,
    If my ear was a kunt I could fukc it.
     
  4. mary had a little lamb ---the midwife died of shock
     
  5. Mary had a little lamb
    She also had a bear
    I've often seen her little lamb
    .................
     
  6. Roses are red
    Violets are blue.
    This poem should rhyme...
    But ...it does'nt.
    So
    Feck orf.
     
  7. Roses are red
    Violets are blue.
    This poem should rhyme...
    But ...it does'nt.
    So
    Feck orf.
     
  8. A decrepit rabbi of Westmeath, liked to circumcise lads with his teeth.
    It wasn't for leisure,
    or sexual pleasure,
    but to get the free cheese underneath.
     
  9. There was a young lady from philadelphia
    Who found herself left on the shelfia
    She muttered "Who cares?"
    No one wanted her wares
    So she cheerfully played with herselfia!
     
  10. There was a young lady from Aberystwyth
    took grain to the mill to make grist with
    The millers son Jack
    Laid her flat on her back
    and united the parts they pis&ed with
     
  11. There was a young man from Pitlochry
    Who tried to have sex in a rockery
    He said to his partner
    A keen amateur gardener
    This isn't a f*ck, its a mockery
     
  12. Mary had a little lamb
    Her father shot it dead
    Now it goes to school with her
    between to lumps of bread
     


  13. But I've never seen her DP'd and deep throating lionel blair??
     
  14. There was a young lady ftom Itchin,
    Scratching her cnut in the kitchen,
    Her mum said "Rose, the pox I suppose"
    She said, "bollx, get on with your knitting"