Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Twizzlelehope, Apr 11, 2009.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. I like the good old limericks:

    Here's one to start you off:

    A faggot who lived in Khartoum
    Took a lesbian up to his room
    And they argued all night
    As to who had the right
    To do what, and with which, and to whom

    Do you guys out there have more?
  2. Or?

    A lesbian who lived in Rangoon
    Took a nancyboy up to her room
    As she turned out the light
    She said "lets get this right"
    Who does what and to whom.
  3. There was a young girl from the Azores
    whoes cnut was covered in sores
    the dogs in the street used to eat the green meat
    that hung in festoons from her drawers
  4. A young lady who's name was Rose Hitchin
    Was scratching her minge in the kitchen
    Her mother said Rose, pox I suppose
    Rose said bollocks get on with your knittin'.
  5. There was a young man from calcutta
    who liked to lube up his wife in butter
    But when asked did it slip
    He said oh just a bit
    but only when putting it up her
  6. Or

    There was young lady in Hitchin,
    Who was scratching her cunt in the kitchen,
    Her mother said Rose, its crabs i suppose,
    She said yes and the fuckers are itchin.

    There was a young lady in France,
    who got on a bus in a trance,
    everyone fucked her, except the conductor,
    and he came twice in his parnts
  7. The lass I brought home was a prize,
    with an alluring set of blue eyes,
    her breasts, so well kept,
    were what I’d expect,
    but her cock was quite a surprise.
  8. There was a young man from Madras
    Whose balls were cnstructed of brass.
    In stormy weather
    They clanged together
    And sparks flew out of his arse.
  9. Thre was a young girl named Mariah
    Who succombed to her lover's desire.
    She said, "It's a sin,
    But now that it's in,
    Could you shove it a few inches higher?"
  10. AAGF


    There once was a young man from Buckingham
    Who stood on the bridge at Uppingham.
    He was watching the stunts of the c unts in the punts
    and the tricks of the pricks that were f uckin' 'em!

    Singing - "That was an 'orrible song ...
  11. There was an old man from Dundee
    Who invented a Wankin machine
    The rollers went too fast
    The sparks flew up his arse
    And his balls were whipped to cream

    Boom Boom
  12. There was a young woman from ealing
    who had an uncanny feeling
    she laid on her back
    opened her crack
    and pissed all over the ceiling
  13. I'm not just posting this to send Markintmes's blood-pressure through the roof. :oops:
    And it's not a "Why didn't the thread-starter use the 'search'?"..... :roll:
    I like limericks ........ and it seems that some others do, too. :D
    So, if anyone's interested in reading some more, (and to bring them together) Arrse has plenty more on:

    ...... and a search of "limericks" brings up a few other threads, too.

  14. :twisted: Rather than search through other sites, perhaps use of the old brain box would bring forth more hilarity.