Life in the Australian Army

Discussion in 'Armed Forces Jokes' started by beufighter, Sep 13, 2010.

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  1. Dear Mum & Dad,

    I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that
    the Army is better than workin' on the station - tell them to get in
    bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in
    settling down at first, because ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6am.
    But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya
    bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No bloody horses to get in,
    no calves to feed, no troughs to clean - nothin'!! Ya haz gotta shower
    though, but its not so bad, coz there's lotsa hot water and even a light
    to see what ya doing!

    At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no kangaroo steaks
    or goanna stew like wot Mum makes. You don't get fed again until noon
    and by that time all the city boys are buggered because we've been on a
    'route march' - geez its only just like walking to the windmill in the
    bullock paddock!!

    This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep
    getting medals for shootin' - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a
    bloody dingo's arse and it don't move and it's not firing back at ya
    like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize
    cows before the Ekka last year! All ya gotta do is make yourself
    comfortable and hit the target - it's a piece of piss!! You don't even
    load your own cartridges, they comes in little boxes, and ya don't have
    to steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when
    you reload!

    Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real
    careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting with Doug and Phil
    and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home
    after the muster.

    Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the
    platoon's got, and I've only been beaten by this one bloke from the
    Engineers - he's 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across the
    shoulders and as ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin' wet,
    but I fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer.

    I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before
    word gets around how bloody good it is.

    Your loving daughter,

  2. AGAIN!! 8)
  3. this was on here before. goway
  4. Oh NO!! Not again.
    Been on AARSE before.
    Sorry no points for this one.