Life in the Australian Army...

Discussion in 'Armed Forces Jokes' started by Tatty, Sep 13, 2010.

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  1. This one tickled me!

    Life in the Australian Army...

    Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad.
    (For Those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a smalltown, west of
    Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland)

    Dear Mum & Dad,

    I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that
    the Army is better than workin' on the farm - tell them to get in bloody
    quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling
    down at first, because ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6am.
    But I like sleeping in now, cuz all yagotta do before brekky is make ya
    bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No bloody cows to milk, no
    calves to feed, no feed to stack - nothin'!! Ya haz gotta shower though,
    but its not so bad, coz there's lotsa hot water and even a light to see
    what ya doing!

    At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no kangaroo steaks or
    possum stew like wot Mum makes. You don't get fed again until noon
    and by that time all the city boys are buggered because we've been on
    a 'route march' - geez its only just like walking to the windmill in the
    back paddock!!

    This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting
    medals for shootin' - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a bloody
    possum's bum and it don't move and it's not firing back at ya like the
    Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before
    the Ekka last year! All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and
    hit the target - it's a piece of piss!! You don't even load your own
    cartridges they comes in little boxes and ya don't have to steady yourself
    against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload!

    Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful
    coz they break easy - it's not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack
    and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the

    Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the
    platoon's got, and I've only been beaten by this one bloke from the
    Engineers - he's 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across
    the shoulders and as ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin'
    wet, but I fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer.

    I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before
    word gets around how bloody good it is.

    Your loving daughter,


    From Tatty
  2. Bloody beauty mate!

    I always love stories about back home... especially when they show how well the equal ops program works!