Life in Da hood.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by B_AND_T, Nov 18, 2008.

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  1. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Well, dats me back from de Magistrates Court innit. They as gone an given me another ASBO. Like I cares and all that, I is already on 5 others. Me mam won’t be happy cus she was oping dey would take me tag off. She don’t like it cus I is in de house a lot and she can’t av one of her gezzers round. If I can’t get laid then she can’t.

    Got me night planned though, I is meetin up wiv me homeys by the Offy at 6 o’clock. The bloke dat owns it keeps calling the cops on us, which I don’t fink is very fair. We don’t nick much stuff from im. But he says we is keeping people from his shop. I is goin tooled up cus a rival crew as been dissin my gang and we is expeccin some trouble. We av 20 bro’s in my gang, we is called The Precinct Boyz cus dat is where we does our business.

    Me Bro Kaboom got wasted der other day. I don’t know wot he wuz finking but you got ter be careful who you is talking to. You just don’t know if dey is carrying a piece or not. Times ave changed in der hood, me and der Bro’s try an keep it safe for der gang but other Bro’s try and muscle in like. Which ain’t good innit, dis is our turf.

    I is goin to get a job soon cus I is fed up wiv the little kids not aving any dinner money on em and I need to get a new banging sound system for me Nova. It’s a well ard motor and I is goin to get a new engine fitted when I get der cash. If I as enough cash I is goin to get a 1100cc one, which is way cool.

    I need to get some more threads, so I is goin to Primark on Saturday, if me mum gives me bus fare, and I is goin to rob from there. I is banned from Peacocks cus they caught me thieving stuff.

    Anyway dat is me checkin out cus me tea is ready. We is avin fish fingers and chips. We should ave ad pie but me giro didn’t turn up.

    Later Bro's Respec.
  2. try spellchecking before posting
  3. Speelin n gramma iz 2 gud. 4/10
  4. you're all bast@rds
    was hoping to wah this one
    but noones playing fair
    wheres the sulking smiley?
  5. Wah?

    B_T; a famously literate and beautiful piece of prose, you've capture the very height of today's culture. You're use of the street vernacular and slang allows the reader to see into the motivations and life-story of an obviously deeply personal and emotionally sensitive person. Indeed the meter is such that poetry is even suggested by such phrases as

    "The bloke dat owns it keeps calling the cops on us, which I don’t fink is very fair. We don’t nick much stuff from im. But he says we is keeping people from his shop."

    This incredibly moving piece of writing will shine throughout the ages as a piece of genius.
  6. oh yes indeedy
    see, someone noticed :D
  7. If you lernd to respeck da Norf Terrace Croo, mebbee we wudnt ave ta come round dere showing yoos oo is boss. DOnt bring a knife to a gun fite, innit, weel mess yoos up proppaar. :roll:

    Yor sister is wew fit, Id bang it bruv fer shore. Bring er wiv you next time, she reprazents dis croo, WORTER IS FIKKA DAN BLUD BOOOYAHHHHHH
  8. PS sossage egg n chips is da bom.
  9. Dis thread is keepin' it real for sure . Ma boi Mike Golden wid be so proud innit
  10. Golden iz a spiv. Dat geezer tried bringin it on like e woz all dat, but me and da possee showed dat muthafukkin shrimp who owns who. Rite now am rollin on da precinct, watch out homies dis sh*t is goin down, check yoself befo yo wreck yoself.

  11. OO you callin gentle, arks yourself bro, how many barrells dis nine got? Dont get in my way bro, I'll take you out an smack dis shit all over town.

    Respeck da love, gangsta ho's n dawgs. Or something. :D
  12. How absolutely frightful! Just wait until the chaps from the Cotswolds Posse pop over to give you an utter thrashing. I'm going to send my Butler over with the Purdeys. You, sir, are a complete whore, is it not.
  13. dunno wot you is sayin bruv, carnt you talk facking english innit. 8)
  14. Could I trouble you to pick me up on the way past Old Chap? Jeeves has the day orf, something to do with his wife dying apparently. Its dashed inconsiderate of her if you ask me.