Life advice requested.

#1
hello people,
im all better now (the voices in my head told me) but pissed again, thought id introduce myself and its nice to find a reminder of good times, the naffi spirit and humour live on.

jack daniels clariyfs the mind, ive just been warned off for redundancy and im thinking of sacking the lot selling up and doing one to new zealand and a job i might like, maybe somemething to do with the great outdoors that i love, id have about 250k in my arse pocket, ive got no ties family wise

im at a crossroads in my life, im forty but im still firing on alll cylinders, ive got great respect for our old timers, they have done it and been where we have and ive worked with a few as they retire and reminice about what they wished theyd done.

is it a no brainer, im not sure why im asking. maybe moral support, maybe a shove in the right direction, maybe a jd too many, well to turn it into a quetion aswell as seeking some words of guidance, what when you look back wished you had done. The big ones that changed your life.

bring it on ive got broad shoulders.
 
#2
I should never have married a stripper. Should never have fallen for her daring scheme to rob a bank.

Should have married that preacher's daughter instead.
 
#3
if its being to agony aunt then fuck it , but decisions that changed your life would help, when have you rolled the dice that way and what was the outcome, the life changers.
 
#4
Devil_Dog said:
I should never have married a male stripper. Should never have fallen for his daring scheme to rob a bank.
 
#5
Decision that changed the world for the worse: Shithouse, your mother's failure to make it to your abortion appointment (she was high on acid) cost us all dearly as evidenced by your bone post.
 
#7
jesusjones said:
Devil dog, you know what mate, how my mind is now, i love you
DD you scored; bum lurven for you with hoseA...you donkey feltching taint abuser. I guess you and tripe are no longer pushing in each other's stool you've now found God and are doing his son.


or you're just talking to yourself either way your a homo
 
#8
Ctauch

I just had a life changing moment - I nearly developed laptop induced epilepsy trying to read that small print!!!!

Did it say "or you're just looking to yourself either way you're a homo".

Please tell me I'm right - the eye strain is killing me :D

No trickery involved just the mark 1 eyeball
 
#10
New Zealand good; (at the mo) Canada better. Look at their emigration site. Canada went to the bother of sending a Minister across to induce UK bods to Canada last month. They are screaming to fast track good applicants.

Don't know what you want to do but wouls seem to me to be well worth a look
 
#11
jesusjones said:
i dont stab arse
No worries I hear that devil dog does so all is well, you can always play the catcher to devil dog's pitcher.
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#12
Back off slowly keeping your hands in plain sight at all times. Predatory hoop bandits.

jesusjones said:
id have about 250k in my arse pocket, ive got no ties family wise

im at a crossroads in my life, im forty but im still firing on alll cylinders,
Hi. A life of adventure? The open road? Money for nothing? How fortunate I chanced by. I have recently aquired a molibdinum mine in China and have a paltry few shares set aside for friends and family. £250k minimum investment. 240% return within two years.

PM me.
 
#13
in_the_cheapseats said:
New Zealand good; (at the mo) Canada better. Look at their emigration site. Canada went to the bother of sending a Minister across to induce UK bods to Canada last month. They are screaming to fast track good applicants.

Don't know what you want to do but would seem to me to be well worth a look
Canada,

Pro's:

A cross between a British and American lifestyle without the bullshite.

6 months of fantastic weather (Southern Ontario anyway).

For the most part the Federal Gubbies leave us alone.

Easy going newspapers and news broadcasts. It's not all pretty but it's usually even balanced.

Some PC but not much.

Low crime rate.

Gun control.

Racial tolerance (English, Scottish AND Irish drink in the same pubs FFS).

90% of the population lives within 60 miles of the US border.

90% of the population are happy they live north of the US border.

More fresh water than any other nation on earth.

More trees than any other nation on earth.

Protected by the USA landmass from Hurricanes, Earthquakes, Tornado's
and other such crap.

Our winter run off water floods the USA every year not Canada.

Speak / write English fluently you can get a job anywhere, and do well.

Speak / write English and FRENCH fluently you can get a job within the Gubmint circle and be set for life.

Two Hundred and Fifty thousand pounds is worth 3/4 of a million dollars, a five bedroom house on a waterfront property can be scooped for less than $400,000.

Cons:

6 months of feck me I'm freezing my bollix off, but fcukin hell what a sunny day where's me shades.

Pay for view soccer.

English, Scottish AND Irish drink in the same pubs FFS.

Fcuk all to see that isn't more than 50 years old, imported from somewhere else or is so far away you ain't going to see it ever.

There are French people :pukel: (actually faux French people if you ask a real froggie).

Fish and Chips are shite.
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#14
So name me one famous Canadian?

Apart from the King of Belgium and Tin-Tin.

Do one, opportunist exploiter. jesusjones and I are off to a new life in Eastern China. He has PMed me and arrangements are being made. We will be very happy together.
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#16
Western China. Not Eastern Canada. I should hate for there to be any confusion. My gold mine is in Western China.

Anybody else fancy a punt? Paypal, all major credit cards and cash accepted. Will swap for a jet ski. Cash either way.
 
#17
TheIronDuke said:
So name me one famous Canadian?

Apart from the King of Belgium and Tin-Tin.

Do one, opportunist exploiter. jesusjones and I are off to a new life in Eastern China. He has PMed me and arrangements are being made. We will be very happy together.
Didn't mean to pee on your parade, I failed to mention my advice fee of $250,000 to JeesusJones et al. :)
 
#18
thegimp said:
Sold!! good fishing I hear too, how do you get to canada
Turn left off the A4, turn right at the lights, turn the wipers on and head West.
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#19
Busta-Gut said:
TheIronDuke said:
So name me one famous Canadian?

Apart from the King of Belgium and Tin-Tin.

Do one, opportunist exploiter. jesusjones and I are off to a new life in Eastern China. He has PMed me and arrangements are being made. We will be very happy together.
Didn't mean to pee on your parade, I failed to mention my advice fee of $250,000 to JeesusJones et al. :)
As jesusjones close personal friend, financial adviser and agent, that'll be 15% to me. Call it £30k for cash.

Has anyone seen my client since last night? Only I'd like a word. We have one or two outstanding issues. Like the £300k the twunt owes me.

And any time at all for my £30k you deadbeat exploiter.
 
#20
TheIronDuke said:
Busta-Gut said:
TheIronDuke said:
So name me one famous Canadian?

Apart from the King of Belgium and Tin-Tin.

Do one, opportunist exploiter. jesusjones and I are off to a new life in Eastern China. He has PMed me and arrangements are being made. We will be very happy together.
Didn't mean to pee on your parade, I failed to mention my advice fee of $250,000 to JeesusJones et al. :)
As jesusjones close personal friend, financial adviser and agent, that'll be 15% to me. Call it £30k for cash.

Has anyone seen my client since last night? Only I'd like a word. We have one or two outstanding issues. Like the £300k the twunt owes me.

And any time at all for my £30k you deadbeat exploiter.
Dosh ready and waiting, give me your credit card so i can put a deposit on it (and put some money on it as well).

p.s I have $18.5 million yankee dollar left over from a business partner in Nigeria, send me a postal order for $1500 to pay for secure shipping and I'll bob down the bank tomorrow withdraw 30g in cash and send it overnight via Pinkertons.
 

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