Ever tipped up just those few minutes too late? permission to "fall in" denied? been asked an awkward question? what you need is a really good excuse, here are a few that have worked for me "I would have got here on time but on the way down i got the sudden urge to shiit, if i hadnt of gone back there would have been a mess" (this happens to most people from time to time and is completely plausable) "I would have got here on time but..I got to the gate and realised i'd left my ID card in yesterdays pants, had to go back home and get it" (again plausable, your not supposed to keep your MOD90 in your wallet anyway) "the oncoming guard commander fcuked us around with more cleaning before he would take the guardroom over thats why im late" (being fcuked around by someone else means you werent loafing and is an acceptable excuse) "i got stiffed for panbash (in the field only) thats why im a bit late" (a shiit job but someone has to do it, remember to make sure your hands are gleaming to confirm your lie) "has my weapon been inspected? "course it has, that new sergeant did it, cant remember his name, the one with the tash" lets hear yours now, no lame stuff, lies that actually work!