Off to Liege in a few weeks, not been before so anyone been and know the places to go for the night? Also, I'm getting the train down from Brussels and can't work out the bloody connection thing thats on the Belgie train site so any advice welcome from the seasoned Belgian travellers amongst you.
I worked for the Bank of Belgium most of last year. The train service is one of the oldest and best in the world and ensures that most of Belgia is, in a way, a suburb of Brussels. I used to rent business flats all over the place - Leuven, Antwerp, Nimes etc. There will be direct trains at least every hour to Liege / Luik from Brussel Central.

Liege is the French spelling and pronounciation - in Dutch it's Luik (Pron. lake) so if you're off the railways and in the northern part of the country you'll see Luik instead. Brussels and all the railways are bi-lingual and in the case of Brussels itself they'll all speak English too. Schoolboy Frog is easily enough to get by in all but the most out of the way areas and most Belgies speak good to excellent Engels.

Liege is an industrial area so it's not overly pretty but it is on a river and is near the most beautiful and hilly (only beautiful and hilly) area in Belgium - the Ardennes. Masses of great driving / biking roads, loads of history - WW1 stuff like Verdun over the border and Battle of the Bulge / Brothers in Arms in Belgium itself.

The Belgos are an odd lot, really. Quite dull and they don't like each other much. Once I thought of it as two countries it was ok I guess.

Have fun and if you need any advice just holler...
Ghent / Gent is my favourite Belgian city too.

Here's one I wrote earlie about pis5ing, a very Belgian subject...

And so to our Belgian courses...

I wish to talk about willies. Don't shy away at the back - we'll make interesting analogies along the way and come off at the end better off for the experience. So, to the meat of the matter - specifically, my willy - which, since I'm in Europe, is now known as the Euro Sausage 6 punkt zwo, ja?
The thing is, us English are all of us used to the Euro Loo. This most functional and simple of devices, usually located in the middle of the high street, has for decades been the happy receptacle of many an English oui-oui and is in all probability all the better for it. However, I realised recently that at most of these places - including my place of work - it's entirely possible for the lasses to spot one's old chap. The urinals are in the open you see, so to walk to the ladies means walking past the men. This is something I heartily encourage. Indeed, I'm quite happy for the ladies of Europe to admire my humble appendage at every possible opportunity. However, what I'm not up for is the capacity for the European man to take a quick shufti of his own. Bare with me on this. I was in Germany this weekend and the Erics will not - simply will not - ever look down at another man's little Eric. They won't. Now, I went to an all boys school and the University of Brideshead but I too will never look at another man's bong hose. So, amazed was I when stopping off in France on the way home yesterday. After two al fresco wazzes it was obvious that Fran�ois is nowhere near as willyphobic as Helmut (no pun intended). Indeed, the Frenchman is - quite simply is - the very embodiment of the homme. Every Francois and Pierre was getting in on the action. At one point I thought I must have turned ginger or similar but Non. They simply want to have a look. This is not an easy thing for an Englishman to carry off. Does one persevere regardless? Or perhaps a little waggle to add to the performance? I came away somehow sullied by the whole experience and this brings me towards a conclusion of sorts. You see, in Belgium the jury is still out. Are the Belgies peepers? Or are they perhaps more Germanic in their micturatory habits? I think we should be told. Friends, I promise you I shall make it my primary business in this, the final week of my Belgian Adventure, to discover if Homme Belgique is indeed a peeper or a starer. This is the very stuff of which nations are made! One can safely extrapolate the evidence. My political career is surely now a necessity and when elevated to the European Parliament, I shall make all judgements on the same basis. Newsnight will be a sinch. 'Sir Dickie, would you please explain what the European Parliament's policy actually is on Turkish incursions into Iraq?' 'Well Jeremy, I really don't have the foggiest old boy but the MEP for Ankara East just took a two second look at my minor constituency in the gents so I think we ought to shoot him. Fair enough?'

Yours dans the m erde,

Meester Reechee.
Guillimans is the main station in Liege, nice little red light area out the main entrance and to the right. On a Sunday there is a huge huge open air market on the river worth a visit

Venture out of Liege to Tongeren, oldest town in Belgium, or Maastricht almost the oldest town in Holland within 15 miles of each other. Kanne is between the two where the Maastricht treaty was signed, a huge underground complex, cant go in but you get the ideas by skirting around it, spent many a hour in there on ex.
Cheers everyone, off there on Thursday morning on Eurostar, Antwerp Friday and Brussels on Saturday. Should be a crack!
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