Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by Counter-Bluffer-Ops, Sep 5, 2013.

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  1. Having just read about the 'shampooing pensioner' and 'multi-car pile-up' this morning, in addition to the ever-present tsunami of Daily Mail-type human tragedies and dramas, I was wondering whether or not it was timely to introduce a system of licencing that would give the licencee the right to bear children.

    Clearly there would be a few obstacles to overcome but on balance the benefits to the nation would be significant, not least the income derived from the licencing process but also a potential huge saving in future medical and welfare bills.
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  2. You've been watching Demolition Man/Starship Troopers again, haven't you?
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  3. AlienFTM

    AlienFTM LE Book Reviewer

    What would I do with a bear child?

    Oh and by the way they are called cubs.
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  4. People go to prison for making bare children.
  5. So, who's going to administer this hypothetical 'rugrat' licence then?
    Oh, I know, we'll give the job to the police, after all they've been administering the Firearms Act since forever and look what a wonderful job they've made of that!
  6. I can see it now,

    "Fancy a shag?"

    "Have you got a licence for that fanny madam?"
  7. Tattooing a unique registration number somewhere easily accessible like the forearm?
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  8. this is what tramp stamps could be used for
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  9. Barcode on the back of the head, if you're from a bad-ass Arrse family....
  10. What do you do with "unlicensed" babies?

    Leave them out on the moors in a snow storm? Sell them to El Salvadorians (if white)?

    Or just a bit of Soylent Green?
  11. Offendi

    Offendi On ROPs

    This is precisely my question. They could be given to the church to be worked to death ROI stylee, but that's not worked out that well here.

    And of course, there's always the parachute regiment, where the UK's unwanted children traditionally go, but that's not getting any bigger.

    So it's a problem.
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  12. Dear Mr and Mrs C-B-Ops Snr

    It is with deep regret that we are retrospectively withdrawing your license to breed. I am sure this is a great personal disappointment and shock for you both but I am sure in due course you will see that it is for the best.

    Please shred the license and any copies taking appropriate actions to ensure any products issued as a result of previously lawful and authorised activities are immediately returned to the appropriate authorities for safe disposal.

    Please also desist from making any further use of the license with immediate effect.

    Yours etc

    Fun Police Inspectorate
  13. The real problem is that technology, science and legislation have interfered with Darwinian processes.

    Fewer children are born today. In the past families had an avarege 5 children. One died in childbirth, one succumbed to infant mortality, and one played on the railway line and got hit by the 8:15 mail train.

    These days we keep alive even the weakest newborn, we save the sick, and we protect the stupid with big fences and safety equipment .

    It's our own fault.
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  14. AlienFTM

    AlienFTM LE Book Reviewer

    I'm in trouble. Every child I have procreated had been born bare. What have I been doing so wrong?
  15. You can add to that the problems caused Reverse Eugenics policies we've been following for the past 5 or 6 decades where the ones encouraged to have children are the Benefit Breeders who get rewarded with extra money and priority with housing from the state, whilst those who actually work are over-taxed to pay for it.
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