Liam Byrne - Prima dona cnut

Command_doh

LE
Book Reviewer
#1
I always knew this guy was a first class w@nker, and this just proves it. Look at his little 'guide book' for his flunky's. Ponce.

Apologies for the Daily HateMail. I was linking something else on Arrse.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...ow-lost-wallet-Minister-dubbed-Baldemort.html

Two years ago, The Mail on Sunday revealed how Birmingham Hodge Hill MP Mr Byrne sent his civil servants an 11-page memo spelling out exactly how they should treat him and how his office should be organised.

In detailed instructions worthy of a showbiz diva, he told officials precisely what types of coffee he liked – and when he liked it to be served.

The document, entitled Working With Liam Byrne, declared: ‘Coffee/Lunch. I’m addicted to coffee. I like a cappuccino when I come in, an espresso at 3pm and soup at 12.30-1pm.’

It also told his staff to tell him ‘not what you think I should know, but you expect I will get asked’. He warned them: ‘Never put anything to me unless you understand it and can explain it to me in 60 seconds . . . If I see things that are not of acceptable quality, I will blame you.’

A Whitehall source said: ‘Everybody knows that Byrne is a fussy so-and-so. He gets on your nerves and is always changing his mind.

‘We have heard moans from the drivers before that he wasn’t getting on very well with Howard. Howard is not the problem – he’s a lovely fellow. The problem is Liam Byrne. He needs to learn a few inter-personal skills.’

Mr Byrne, 39, seems to have a knack of getting on the wrong side of people who drive for a living. In 2007, he was denounced by London cabbies for saying they were ‘low-skilled’.
 
#2
Erm shouldn't this be in the "Things we have heard a long time ago about politicians but which the Daily Mail is reheating and serving up in a bid to condition the electorate" forum?
 

Command_doh

LE
Book Reviewer
#3
Dunno. Seeing as I must have missed it the first time around. But you are right I suppose, hence all the smearing headlines lately. Sad thing is, it won't make any difference as I think we are heading for a Hung Parliament.
 
#4
Hung parliament? I love the mental image that goes with that but sadly of course in this context it just means a bunch of greedy twunts, up to their beezers in the jelly-meat trough, unable to make coherent decisions and manage the best interests of this once great nation in a manner rather like the organisation of a bottle-party in a distillery.
 
#5
Cuddles said:
Hung parliament? I love the mental image that goes with that but sadly of course in this context it just means a bunch of greedy twunts, up to their beezers in the jelly-meat trough, unable to make coherent decisions and manage the best interests of this once great nation in a manner rather like the organisation of a bottle-party in a distillery.
I have been buying shares in piano-wire factories just in case ...
 
#6
Idrach said:
Cuddles said:
Hung parliament? I love the mental image that goes with that but sadly of course in this context it just means a bunch of greedy twunts, up to their beezers in the jelly-meat trough, unable to make coherent decisions and manage the best interests of this once great nation in a manner rather like the organisation of a bottle-party in a distillery.
I have been buying shares in piano-wire factories just in case ...
lol, i'm thinking of getting shares in an undertakers. one way or another, the death rate will go up over the next two years!
 
#7
Cuddles said:
Hung parliament? I love the mental image that goes with that but sadly of course in this context it just means a bunch of greedy twunts, up to their beezers in the jelly-meat trough, unable to make coherent decisions and manage the best interests of this once great nation in a manner rather like the organisation of a bottle-party in a distillery.
as distinct to when when one lot gets a workable majority :twisted: :cry:

before we get all misty eyed for the torys Black tuesday,SA80, options for change the poll tax, raliway privitsation dergulation of the city, pension holidays etc etc.
not going to claim any party has a large number of people who could organise a succesful party at a pub even with expenses :cry:
 
#8
bomb-int said:
Idrach said:
Cuddles said:
Hung parliament? I love the mental image that goes with that but sadly of course in this context it just means a bunch of greedy twunts, up to their beezers in the jelly-meat trough, unable to make coherent decisions and manage the best interests of this once great nation in a manner rather like the organisation of a bottle-party in a distillery.
I have been buying shares in piano-wire factories just in case ...
lol, i'm thinking of getting shares in an undertakers. one way or another, the death rate will go up over the next two years!
Look, the only way we will ever get a decent government is if decent people take a direct and active interest in politics. That means making the time to get invoved in local issues.

For example, you might lobby your local council to ensure that the lamp-posts where you live are really solid and soundly constructed. I doubt the ability of these modern lightweight aluminium jobs to support the weight of a jelly-meat-fed MP, regardless of the breaking strain of the piano wire.

All the best,

John.
 
#9
The only way we are going to get a decent government is if we get the right calibre of people wanting to become MPs.

And the only way we are going to do that is if we (the electorate) finally grow up and decide a) to pay them properly and b) stop giving them dogs abuse about stupid, petty, things.
 
#10
Byrne's knickname is Baldemorte apparently in a reference to the Dark Lord.

Baldrick would seem far more suitable if you ask me!
 
#11
Command_doh said:
I always knew this guy was a first class w@nker, and this just proves it. Look at his little 'guide book' for his flunky's. Ponce.

Apologies for the Daily HateMail. I was linking something else on Arrse.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...ow-lost-wallet-Minister-dubbed-Baldemort.html

Two years ago, The Mail on Sunday revealed how Birmingham Hodge Hill MP Mr Byrne sent his civil servants an 11-page memo spelling out exactly how they should treat him and how his office should be organised.

In detailed instructions worthy of a showbiz diva, he told officials precisely what types of coffee he liked – and when he liked it to be served.

The document, entitled Working With Liam Byrne, declared: ‘Coffee/Lunch. I’m addicted to coffee. I like a cappuccino when I come in, an espresso at 3pm and soup at 12.30-1pm.’

It also told his staff to tell him ‘not what you think I should know, but you expect I will get asked’. He warned them: ‘Never put anything to me unless you understand it and can explain it to me in 60 seconds . . . If I see things that are not of acceptable quality, I will blame you.’

A Whitehall source said: ‘Everybody knows that Byrne is a fussy so-and-so. He gets on your nerves and is always changing his mind.

‘We have heard moans from the drivers before that he wasn’t getting on very well with Howard. Howard is not the problem – he’s a lovely fellow. The problem is Liam Byrne. He needs to learn a few inter-personal skills.’

Mr Byrne, 39, seems to have a knack of getting on the wrong side of people who drive for a living. In 2007, he was denounced by London cabbies for saying they were ‘low-skilled’.
I'm obviously losing the plot here. A guy moves into a high pressure job and tells his new staff what kind of things will help him to do the job the Country and his bosses expect him to do.

So he likes a certain type of coffee and a bowl of soup at a given time? Big deal. It should just be on his PA's (whatever's) check list along with all the other diary stuff.

He wants his staff to know their subject, be able to articulate the salient points concisely and provide him with the answers to the questions he's likely to get asked. How is this a problem?

If this is the kind of thing that people are complaining about, I suggest Byrne isn't the only prima donna in his organization.
 
#12
He measures up in every aspect to the most noxious and unpleasant aspects expected of 'Oaf' Brown's scraping the ministerial barrel.

Thank you for reminding me of the existence of this awful, awful man and his role in helping to destroy what is left of this country - thank you!
 
#13
Excognito said:
Command_doh said:
I always knew this guy was a first class w@nker, and this just proves it. Look at his little 'guide book' for his flunky's. Ponce.

Apologies for the Daily HateMail. I was linking something else on Arrse.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...ow-lost-wallet-Minister-dubbed-Baldemort.html

Two years ago, The Mail on Sunday revealed how Birmingham Hodge Hill MP Mr Byrne sent his civil servants an 11-page memo spelling out exactly how they should treat him and how his office should be organised.

In detailed instructions worthy of a showbiz diva, he told officials precisely what types of coffee he liked – and when he liked it to be served.

The document, entitled Working With Liam Byrne, declared: ‘Coffee/Lunch. I’m addicted to coffee. I like a cappuccino when I come in, an espresso at 3pm and soup at 12.30-1pm.’

It also told his staff to tell him ‘not what you think I should know, but you expect I will get asked’. He warned them: ‘Never put anything to me unless you understand it and can explain it to me in 60 seconds . . . If I see things that are not of acceptable quality, I will blame you.’

A Whitehall source said: ‘Everybody knows that Byrne is a fussy so-and-so. He gets on your nerves and is always changing his mind.

‘We have heard moans from the drivers before that he wasn’t getting on very well with Howard. Howard is not the problem – he’s a lovely fellow. The problem is Liam Byrne. He needs to learn a few inter-personal skills.’

Mr Byrne, 39, seems to have a knack of getting on the wrong side of people who drive for a living. In 2007, he was denounced by London cabbies for saying they were ‘low-skilled’.
I'm obviously losing the plot here. A guy moves into a high pressure job and tells his new staff what kind of things will help him to do the job the Country and his bosses expect him to do.

So he likes a certain type of coffee and a bowl of soup at a given time? Big deal. It should just be on his PA's (whatever's) check list along with all the other diary stuff.

He wants his staff to know their subject, be able to articulate the salient points concisely and provide him with the answers to the questions he's likely to get asked. How is this a problem?

If this is the kind of thing that people are complaining about, I suggest Byrne isn't the only prima donna in his organization.
So, if you were this man's driver, you would be happy for him to keep asking you to find his wallet in 'his' car? The inference being, 'I know you've found it and kept it, but I'm giving you a chance to 'find it' again and return it.' That is a case for constructive dismissal.

Sorry, but he needs some lessons in staff management skills. Apart from this, well, he's a cunt.
 
#15
Monty417 said:
Excognito said:
Command_doh said:
I always knew this guy was a first class w@nker, and this just proves it. Look at his little 'guide book' for his flunky's. Ponce.

Apologies for the Daily HateMail. I was linking something else on Arrse.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...ow-lost-wallet-Minister-dubbed-Baldemort.html

Two years ago, The Mail on Sunday revealed how Birmingham Hodge Hill MP Mr Byrne sent his civil servants an 11-page memo spelling out exactly how they should treat him and how his office should be organised.

In detailed instructions worthy of a showbiz diva, he told officials precisely what types of coffee he liked – and when he liked it to be served.

The document, entitled Working With Liam Byrne, declared: ‘Coffee/Lunch. I’m addicted to coffee. I like a cappuccino when I come in, an espresso at 3pm and soup at 12.30-1pm.’

It also told his staff to tell him ‘not what you think I should know, but you expect I will get asked’. He warned them: ‘Never put anything to me unless you understand it and can explain it to me in 60 seconds . . . If I see things that are not of acceptable quality, I will blame you.’

A Whitehall source said: ‘Everybody knows that Byrne is a fussy so-and-so. He gets on your nerves and is always changing his mind.

‘We have heard moans from the drivers before that he wasn’t getting on very well with Howard. Howard is not the problem – he’s a lovely fellow. The problem is Liam Byrne. He needs to learn a few inter-personal skills.’

Mr Byrne, 39, seems to have a knack of getting on the wrong side of people who drive for a living. In 2007, he was denounced by London cabbies for saying they were ‘low-skilled’.
I'm obviously losing the plot here. A guy moves into a high pressure job and tells his new staff what kind of things will help him to do the job the Country and his bosses expect him to do.

So he likes a certain type of coffee and a bowl of soup at a given time? Big deal. It should just be on his PA's (whatever's) check list along with all the other diary stuff.

He wants his staff to know their subject, be able to articulate the salient points concisely and provide him with the answers to the questions he's likely to get asked. How is this a problem?

If this is the kind of thing that people are complaining about, I suggest Byrne isn't the only prima donna in his organization.
So, if you were this man's driver, you would be happy for him to keep asking you to find his wallet in 'his' car? The inference being, 'I know you've found it and kept it, but I'm giving you a chance to 'find it' again and return it.' That is a case for constructive dismissal.

Sorry, but he needs some lessons in staff management skills. Apart from this, well, he's a cunt.
I don't know what I'd do based upon the information presented. There are probably at least several options to have explored, one of them being how I could adapt my behaviour to my client's needs and another being asking another member of staff for assistance in dealing with them. (Of course, my probable method would have been to knee them in the groin, dump them in the boot and take them for a terrifying drive, then ask them if they'd remembered where their wallet might be ...)

However, my point is that the printed reasons are pitiful reasons for such claims about the boss needing to cultivate the touchy-feely qualities. I'd expect to see actual, persistent and consistent, examples to support such a contention. Perhaps he should employ Holly Graf as his COS ... that way his staff would *really* know what being a prima donna without personnel skills meant :\\
 

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