Lewd behaviour in swimming baths

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by bigbird67, Jul 9, 2009.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Which one of you dirty beggars has knocked one out in the hotel pool?? 8O

    Sperm baths
     
  2. Just when you think you've met the thickest tw@ that ever lived.....along comes another!
     
  3. Len Fairclough
     
  4. More to the point who hasnt blew their load in a pool






    Im offering 10/1 odds it wanst the pool water but more likely a pool attendant
     
  5. Alsacien

    Alsacien LE Moderator

    Was once in a German swimming pool giving a scuba diving lesson when a whole bunch of Polizei came charging in.
    Some old bloke was sat in the Jacuzzi poolside trying to knock one out :D
    Plod were insisting he cover his erection, but his trunks were tiny - que lots of shouting for a towel to be brought out.
    Being squaddies we were howling as he was escorted away....classic :D
     
  6. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Has Gary Glitter been on holiday recently?
     
  7. Aye - He was caught bouncing on a small buoy
     
  8. I seem to recall that his excuse at the time was that if he took his finger out, the young innocent pre-pubescent females could possibly drown due to a sudden inrush of water! And Rolf Harris had the cheek to make the same subject into a public safety film. ‘Kids and water, they love it’ he said…………………….we all know what he really meant. Simply substitute the word ‘water’ for ‘male appendage’ and we can deduce that he should have had the letter S removed from his Speedos. I rest my case!
     
  9. Just a very friendly waiter.
     
  10. I usually knock out a quick before I get into the pool so I can swim around with my tinted gogs on and not get a dagger extension
     
  11. If anyones ever at the Littledown Centre in Bournemouth, try find the duty manager who stuck his head over the cubicle in the family changing room and was presented with my shiny bottom ramming away like a man possessed into my then 'squeeze'....He waited a good minute before he coughed..dirty bald c*nt
     
  12. That was my Granny you tw@
     
  13. When I was a kid I was thrown out our local lido for peeing in the pool. Although many kids do this they took umbrage because I was doing it off the top board. :wink:
     
  14. Shes such a slut....
     
  15. I haven't for one.
    Thanks to my tremendous self discipline, I've never even had an erection in a swimming pool :twisted: .

    :clap: I love it!

    My last trip to the pool with my family was marred when the entire customer base of the pool legged it (in that ridiculous slow motion ghost walking that seems to be the fastest way to move while upright in water) to the deep end of the pool, as one of the staff calmly reached over with a net on a stick to fish a floater out of the pool 8O .