Letters to the editor

I got sent these - the Mel Gison and Andy McNabb are classic. Anyone else have any they have seen, written or wished they had? Is Shuggie and ARRSEr?

Dear Sir...

Hats off to the England cricketers for their achievements in the
Ashes this summer, which rightly earned Andrew 'Freddie' Flintoff
BBC Sports personality of the Year. Winning a two-team tournament
against a nation with a much smaller population once in every ten
attempts, then never shutting up about it makes me proud to be British.
Ben Hunt

'Alton Towers - Where the magic never ends', or so the commercial says.
Imagine my disappointment when it closed at 7.30.
Colum Hill

My friend's mum recently pointed out that I have the same ironing board
cover as her. Can anyone think of a more mundane and pointless remark to
make than this?
Alun Daniel

Did anyone else feel that Mel Gibson's remake of the classic Life
of Brian wasn't anywhere near as funny as the original?
Paul, Romford :lol:

On the BBC website, I read with interest that some scientists in
Australia have discovered the smallest fish known to exist.
They've obviously never been to the Britannia Chippy on the Gloucester
Alan J., London

Could the Home Secretary explain to me how biometric checks on
iris patterns and fingerprints are going to help keep tabs on
muslim cleric Abu Hamsa.
Les Barnsley

With reference to that series "Manhunt" where ex-Special Forces soldiers
try to hunt down Andy McNab. Why don't the producers include a couple
Of Iraqis in the hunting team? They found the tw*t quickly enough the
Last time he played hide and seek with them.
Shuggie, Email

Hats off to the witty burglars who stole my entire CD collection
with the exception of "There is Nothing Left to Lose" by the Foo
Fighters. I hope that when sentencing, the judge takes into account their
Splendid sense of humour.
Chris Scaife, Jesmond

I was extremely saddened to hear of Richard Whiteley's recent death.
But I was cheered to imagine his life support machine making the
Famous Countdown "da-da, da-da, da-da-da-da! Booooooo!" sound as he took
his final breaths.

What's all this nonsense about that 66-year-old Romanian woman being
The world's oldest mum? My mum's 77. Beat that.
Thomas J
taken from the pages of Viz by any chance?

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