Letter to Soldier Magazine - August 2008

Auld-Yin

ADC
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#1
All right, which one of you Arrsers sent this pish take to this month's Soldier magazine? Needless to say it did not get a response from Brigadier Jamie:

LIKE many other soldiers I bought myself a 350ml thermal mug. After making a coffee on a recent exercise, I tried to dunk a biscuit fruit from my ration pack and was shocked to find it did not fit into my mug. I snapped the biscuit in two and dunked it sideways. Because it did not have as much length, I could only dunk a little before scolding my fingers. If biscuits were made 6mm smaller, they would fit, which would increase morale. – LCpl, 1 (UK) ADSR, name, address supplied.
Soldier mag

Poor soul scalded his little pinkies. :donut:
 
#2
Class - outbreak of morale at 1ADSR, investigations underway to identify the culprit who will be beasted (sorry, AGAI'd) until he knows better.

So, own up - which one of you was it?!
 
#7
nibble 6mm of the side of biccy and it will fit.
 
#8
chocolate_frog said:
nibble 6mm of the side of biccy and it will fit.
3mm from each side, will maintain the stability of the biscuit. :D

Lack of the words "I am outraged" would rule most ARRSEr's out of the running for being the author. Methinks the Junior Officer CP scenario the most likely. Struggling to stay awake, ruefully reviewing the nominal role, whilst having access to the internet... and a good sense of humour. :)

A few years ago, I ran an advert in Soldier (Lonely Hearts) to gain some material for a colleague's dining out. Written in such a way, to not give away the sex of Nik, some 100 plus responses to the post box and enough material (people are so good to send photos) for an entire evening. Hint, '58 pattern and just your boxers is not a sexual look for most women. :D
 

chimera

LE
Moderator
#9
I AM totally outraged.

This should be picked up by the Scum (The paper that Supports Our Boys - when it suits them) as another example of how the pen pushers and top brass have failed to provide the correct equipment for Our Boys.
 
#10
chocolate_frog said:
nibble 6mm of the side of biccy and it will fit.
What if you only have imperial teeth?
 
#12
chimera said:
I AM totally outraged.

This should be picked up by the Scum (The paper that Supports Our Boys - when it suits them) as another example of how the pen pushers and top brass have failed to provide the correct equipment for Our Boys.
I agree. I bet the biscuits jam and up and overheat in when used in the sandpit as well. Fuckers, I've heard the sweets in rat packs are now being replaced by lumps of cement, something about budget cuts.
 

Auld-Yin

ADC
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#14
If they took the original writer's suggestion of cutting the biscuit by 6mm you can be sure that the resulting loss of rations will not be added by thickening the biccy, therefore a straight saving for the Treasury.

I am sure this is one suggestion that will go through the procurement and improvements programme very quickly. :chef:
 
#15
Time for Army postcode

MANY tri-Service communities serving overseas are suffering problems with the British Forces Post Office (BFPO) postcodes. Being based abroad means troops often have to use the internet to buy goods from UK retailers.

More and more companies are using automated websites which will not recognise a BFPO postcode, declaring it invalid and prompting the user to enter a UK postcode.

Clearly we cannot use the normal postcode for RAF Northholt (where BFPO now resides) as this would mix up their mail with that going overseas. But how hard would it be for BFPO to ask the Royal Mail to create a dedicated postcode which overseas troops could use to direct mail to the BFPO mail centre?

Our addresses might then be something like:12345678 Pte A N Other,62 Materiel Squadron,6 Supply Regiment RLC,
BFPO 47, Middlesex HA4 *** United Kingdom.
I emailed Royal Mail to ask about this and was told that in principle it would not be a problem. After all, new streets are constructed all the time and new postcodes can be generated easily enough for them.
I have tried to chase this through the chain of command and have even written to BFPO myself without reply. Perhaps they didn’t get my letter. – Sgt P Tyler, 6 Supply Regiment RLC.
Maj Steve Roberts, D Def PCS, responds:

BFPO are engaged with Royal Mail to identify a solution to this problem. I will speak to Sgt Tyler to explain in depth the complexities involved in what, on the surface, seems a simple solution.
Interview without coffee for him, then.
 
#17
"Bud get cats" was the order I gave to fetch Kate, the MI5 operative working undercover as a DfiD advisor, with me deep in, enemy territory, as the battle with 200 enemy fighters rained melting lead, down on the three of us...

[/McNabb Mode]
 
#18
chocolate_frog said:
nibble 6mm of the side of biccy and it will fit.
ABrighter2006 said:
3mm from each side, will maintain the stability of the biscuit. :D
Clearly an unacceptable solution as there is a requirement to consume a percentage of the biscuit undunked.

I feel reasonably certain that requesting a reduction in biscuit size would result in a drop of morale for troops. Surely the solution is to issue wider brimmed beverage containers?

And of course re-introducing Spangles.
 
#19
Detonator said:
Maj Steve Roberts, D Def PCS, responds:

BFPO are engaged with Royal Mail to identify a solution to this problem. I will speak to Sgt Tyler to explain in depth the complexities involved in what, on the surface, seems a simple solution.
Interview without coffee for him, then.
I think "the complexities involved in what, on the surface, seems a simple solution" could be translated as "we'd have to pay for it".
 
#20
Onetap said:
Detonator said:
Maj Steve Roberts, D Def PCS, responds:

BFPO are engaged with Royal Mail to identify a solution to this problem. I will speak to Sgt Tyler to explain in depth the complexities involved in what, on the surface, seems a simple solution.
Interview without coffee for him, then.
I think "the complexities involved in what, on the surface, seems a simple solution" could be translated as "we'd have to pay for it".
How cynical of you. :)
 

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