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Letter from PM to public sector workers

You mean government ministers don't do what they say they will?! :eek:

Well what do you do with your junk mail? Do you read it and think carefully about the imformation that you have been provided with or, do you chuck it in the nearest bin and forget all about it?

You never know, it could be like an on-line poll. In which case you'll have some pasty faced ex student type trying to understand all the comments while flicking backwards and forwards from his newly found amatuer ******* site.

Lets face it, they've already got the answers they want, and I'll pretty much guarantee it wont involve any cuts in their stationary budget.

We're all dooooooomed!
 
I've always wondered why the public sector has so many managers but still manage to **** up most things it's responsible for???? God ******* help some of these managers if their departments had to make a profit! Jobs for the boys is alive and well in this sector,a cull is well overdue.
 
For those that are left, get them "working" until they are 65 for a start, if it is good enough for everyone else it is good enough for them

Not that I disagree with the principle, but I would like to observe that it wasn't so clearly a goose/gander situation when the private sector was filling its boots. Are you suggesting that the public sector workers get a share when the economy recovers?
 
I think the Risk Management Dept may have a few comments about this, regarding Manual Handling a Heavy Stone will need two people to lift it or some kind of mechanical assistance, could they use two smaller stones? The wearing of correct gloves, footwear and goggles should also be mandatory.

Numbering in ones and twos could also be seen as discriminatory, especially if Number Ones are labelled as "Odds", suggest using Independant Consultancy Firm to decide fair selection method

Productivity Exercise will need to be "Benchmarked", recommend this is carried out by Independant Company on a fixed term Contract.

Due to lack of Rainfall in the North of England and the imminent HosePipe Ban, filling of the Quarry with water will have to be either by Buckets, (250,000 on order from Authorised Supplier at £5.20 each) or by using excess Bottled Water purchased as part of the Flu Pandemic Contingency Plan

Regards

NHS Catering Manager

Easily solved.
- Make the head of the Risk Management Dept take first place in the process, pair him up a pay clerk, and then alternate his staff with the others; point out that this would make each of the Risky people 'ichi ban', which is a very good thing in Japan (it's multicultural&ethnic, so there can be no objection - thus getting round the culturally imperialistic baggage associated with 'number one').
- Have the remaining 250,000 take a leak into the quarry (if fear has not already lent a helping hand whilst all 500,000 were in the pit).
 
I wonder how many of these admin jobs have the magic, but useless, "nulabour" words "diversity, multicultural, health & safety or enabler/coordinate" in their titles?

And why do NHS Management not look out of the window in the morning? So they have something to do in the afternoon.

I'm afraid that for me this is a case of being careful of what you wish for. My contracting work for the NHS has been chopped & I'm to be replaced by someone more junior & less costly. When I asked whether this new person would have the same capability as me the answer was that my Trust would stop doing some things as well & stop doing some things at all, but at least they're saving money.

Meanwhile it's hurt a bit to be asked as one of my last tasks on the contract to set up budgets for several new "Business Managers" & to increase money going to the Board, but ho-hum. If I didn't want the cracking reference I'm going to get I'd be doing the electronic version of putting kippers down the back of the radiator right now...
 
I tried to send you a PM but it bounced back because your message box is full.

Dear Plume

I'm sorry to hear that you are having your contract terminated. I wish you all possible success with being able to quickly find another job. Preferably one that allows you the same opportunities to post on ARRSE! ;)

MiT
 
For those that are left, get them "working" until they are 65 for a start, if it is good enough for everyone else it is good enough for them

Do you really want a 65- year old nurse giving you an injection, or sewing your wounds? Or a 65-year old surgeon cutting into your vitals?
 
Do you really want a 65- year old nurse giving you an injection, or sewing your wounds? Or a 65-year old surgeon cutting into your vitals?

To be honest I have no problem with that.
I was in hospital a few months ago and the consultant that did the business and several of the nurses were quite a decent vintage.
Pretty young female nurses are nice to look at but the old dear pushing retirement seems to be much more adept at getting needles into the back of your hand!
 
Do you really want a 65- year old nurse giving you an injection, or sewing your wounds? Or a 65-year old surgeon cutting into your vitals?

Let me think, do I want someone trained under the old system where patient care was considered first and foremost and hands on treatment was the norm backed up by many years theoretical knowledge backed up by years of occupational on-training and a world of experience and who knows my name, my wife's name and the names of all my children, or do I want a 21 year old who spent 3 years at uni and refers to me as Bed 3? Mmmm, let me think.
 
Thanks, MiT. Guess what, the new post I've just interviewed for is at a Council.

What frustrates me about the current situation is that in order to save money the Trust is going to lose capability. Most of what I have achieved has been in the sphere of speeding up responses to endless bone reports to the DoH & making those reports more accurate.

A trained monkey could do the basic job I was brought in to do & I've proved it is possible to do it in a day a week plus a couple of extra days at month end, leaving me free to pick up stuff for colleagues. The person coming in will be paid half what I am (although will get pension, holiday pay, study package, sick pay & the whole caboodle the package offered saves a lot less than half) but the interviewees I saw were not exactly MENSA candidates so I find it unlikely that all the little extras I've been doing will be covered...

Edit to add:

The time I spend lurking around here is largely available because I'm waiting for colleagues to provide information or the antiquated system to produce data I need!
 
Quite agree about standards of care in the old and new systems but I was thinking more along the lines of someone like my sis, who retired at 45 due to back, neck and arthritis problems due to nearly thirty years lifting lardarses and running around on her feet all day long. At 65 they could well be tired and wobbly!

Sis has some dim views of the current crop of graduate nurses - 'too posh to wash' summarises it (they don't realise that washing gives them time to get to know the patient, and that skin condition is a good indicator of general health).
 
Back on topic:

If there's any public sector worker who can stop me (and no doubt several million others) receiving two fat information packs a year about Child Benefit and Working Tax Credit, each with a summary page telling me my entitlement is zero due to my offspring being too old, they could save a fortune in paper and postage!
 
Pretty young female nurses are nice to look at but the old dear pushing retirement seems to be much more adept at getting needles into the back of your hand!

But they have spent three years learning "needle theory" at Yoo-nee don't you know. You curmudgeon, how dare you suggest that there is a difference in the roles of a physician and a nurse!

Anyway, that copy of Hello! at the nursing station won't read itself, the Union meetings will seem a bit empty without us, and we need to go & get shiters & cop off at the "Traffic Light Party at the Doctors' Mess, so why would we be messing with needles & patients ;)
 
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