Letter from PM to public sector workers

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Grey_Mafia65, Jul 7, 2010.

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  1. Just received this email at work:
    "tell us your ideas about getting more for less. Don’t hold back. Be innovative, be radical, challenge the way things are done"

    In your own time...GO! :D
     
  2. Well at least he didn't sign it "love and hugs, your mate Dave xxx"
     
  3. Introduce a rule that there must be a minimum of 10 (or 15, 20, whatever is a sensible number) of actual frontline workers (nurses, binmen, police etc.) for every admin bod.

    See here for the breakdown of the Scottish NHS figures - 25,000+ admin and 1,300 managers for about 80,000 medical staff.
     
  4. Introduce a rule that there must be a minimum of 10 (or 15, 20, whatever is a sensible number) of actual frontline workers (nurses, binmen, police etc.) for every admin bod.

    See here for the breakdown of the Scottish NHS figures - 25,000+ admin and 1,300 managers for about 80,000 medical staff.
     
  5. Yeah, introduce it after sacking 40% of the bloody useless admin staff.
     
  6. I have an idea.

    Take all 500,000 of them to a disused quarry.

    Put them in a single line facing forwards.

    Tell them to number off in ones and twos.

    Tell the ones to take a step forward.

    Tell the twos to take a sharp, heavy stone, and smash in the skull of the ones. Failure to do so will result in the roles being reversed.

    Once completed, point out to the remaining 250,000 of them that, should productivity not increase by 200% in the next 6 months, the exercise will be repeated.

    Fill the quarry with water.
     
  7. LOL 10-15... I work in Automotive/Aerospace Research... I do Admin/ Purchasing and all the Travel for 300 Engineers....10-15...LOL... thats a good one...I could do that in my lunch break
     
  8. So you thin the Scottish NHS ratio of around 1 admin post to every 3 frontline staff is a bit excessive then?
    Yeh, me too.
     
  9. I think the Risk Management Dept may have a few comments about this, regarding Manual Handling a Heavy Stone will need two people to lift it or some kind of mechanical assistance, could they use two smaller stones? The wearing of correct gloves, footwear and goggles should also be mandatory.

    Numbering in ones and twos could also be seen as discriminatory, especially if Number Ones are labelled as "Odds", suggest using Independant Consultancy Firm to decide fair selection method

    Productivity Exercise will need to be "Benchmarked", recommend this is carried out by Independant Company on a fixed term Contract.

    Due to lack of Rainfall in the North of England and the imminent HosePipe Ban, filling of the Quarry with water will have to be either by Buckets, (250,000 on order from Authorised Supplier at £5.20 each) or by using excess Bottled Water purchased as part of the Flu Pandemic Contingency Plan

    Regards

    NHS Catering Manager
     
  10. For those that are left, get them "working" until they are 65 for a start, if it is good enough for everyone else it is good enough for them
     
  11. Id love to know what the other 2 are doing all day.... I dont even get Holiday cover I just have pick it up when I get back....
     
  12. "..........johnboyzzzz, For those that are left, get them "working" until they are 65 for a start, if it is good enough for everyone else it is good enough for them...."




    As members of the Armed forces are public servants, it's going to be funny watching a section attack by 65 year olds.


    edited cos this new site is still a bit hmmmm and did not add the text I thought it would.
     
  13. I wonder how many of these admin jobs have the magic, but useless, "nulabour" words "diversity, multicultural, health & safety or enabler/coordinate" in their titles?
     
  14. You mean you tried to do it like this :) :) :) :)
     
  15. Wonder how much money is going to be spent paying staff to read all the replies...