Lets invent a trade

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by themaadone, Jul 26, 2007.

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  1. :eek: :eek: :twisted: :twisted:

    My thoughts for a new all arms trade is...

    Combat Master Tailor

    Trade description:

    The Combat Master Tailor (CMT) will have a proven track record of close quarter combat with a sharp pointy weapon, he will have achieved a high rank by stitching his mates up and also be proficient with a range of highly technical equipment, the Mk1 A1 L3 Singer rapid hitch sewing machine and the F33l fr33 staple gun. Furthermore, the CMT will have an in-depth knowledge of first aid and usually be a BCDT instructor.
  2. I've always thought that the REME, RAMC and the RAVC should be combined to form one corps which repairs everything from Land Rovers to Soldiers to Horses?

    Everyone would be the same CEG, so it would save on trade training, the MRS would now be combined in the unit WKSP/LAD etc?

    What do you think?
  3. New trade name for Depot Training Officer.

    Person Responsible All Training. (PRAT)
  4. Officer correction operator (OCO)

    Trade description

    Able to work 24/7 in all areas of mess/office and field. Must be capable of detailed lambasting of junior and senior officers when said officers open their mouths.

    Proficient in Officer speak to the tune of 15 wpm. Accurate de-cyphering of pish talking and pointless orders

    Ability to enforce physical restraint when de-cyphering the above

    Cleared to NATO - OFFICER STANDARD as may have to deploy with foreign officers. If this is the case then a mandatory course on lazyness will be offered but if said soldier has served with the R Signals for more than 2 months then this may be waived
  5. OCO.....hmmmm, like it....

    The Army currently has vacancies for the role of WRAGS (walt recruiting agents)

    The job requires the trawling of EBAY and airsoft sites whilst mainaining contacts in the press and police forces nationwide......

    COL F-C for WRAG
  6. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer


    Sh!te Order Liaison Officer.

    Duties and roles to include banging on about paperwork, late pay, scruffy squaddies/officers, dirty vehicles, barracks and weapons.

    This is a 24 hour per day role and requires the officer to work in all areas and fields of combat and peace.

    Particular emphasis on whores and beer. "That whore is in SH!TE ORDER, FCUK HER ORF AT THE DOUBLE, you shabby bunch of sorry excuses for drainage effluent, loogathastateofyewwwwww!"
  7. Infantryman.

    ..........I'm Running already.....
  8. I take it a baseball bat with nails in it would be part of the 1157 for said individual? and maybe a knuckle duster for minor offences like when they open their mouths to talk... :p
  9. OCO Regulations stipulate that a step to the rear of "432"/"tank" garage to administer a swift clip around said Officers ears is required on a first offence, subsequent offences involve group ridicule, subordinate ridicule, sexual ridicule and severe offences require the OCO to thrash said officer to an inch of his pathetic inward life

    R Signals Officers are exscused the ridicule punishment as most do it on a daily basis to themselves anyway
  10. EBA

    Egg Banjo Articifer

    or TEBA

    Tactical Egg Banjo Articifer if you can knock one up in the ulu
  11. Command Unit of Negotiation Tactitions (.CUNTs)

    like ronsil, does wat it says on the tin!

    (weak i know, but would be amusing if real)

  12. The US Army really has that. MOS 43M Tent & Fabric Repair Specialist. I know that from when my Mech Infantry unit got disbanded and they wanted us all to change over to it, I resigned.

    I'd rather watch frozen chicken thaw.

  13. Workshop Administration & Noticeboard Knowledgeable Engineering Representative. Or Tiffy for short!!
  14. Otherwise known as "Contact Counselling"

    Heed :)
  15. Are they all women? Surely thats the only job they are suited for?