Let cyclists design lorries...

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by putteesinmyhands, Mar 21, 2013.

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  1. Simple solution to cyclists and lorries?

    Keep your stupid bikes and your even more stupid lycra clad arses out of the way of lorries.

    [​IMG]

    Don't be the meat in the sandwich - it REALLY is that simple.
     
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  2. The cyclists need to put more work into this design, it still has eight wheels.
     
  3. A snow-blower attachment is NOT an acceptable means of preventing cyclists from being dragged under lorries.
     
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  4. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Cyclists can **** off.

    Anyone who is in any doubt as to why they keep getting squashed should take a short drive along the Embankment between 5 and 6pm.
     
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  5. How about a heat sensor that is mounted along the left hand side of the truck, to detect any human movement in the space between the truck and the kerb. This would be managed by a GPS enabled positioning system and intergrated into the drivers workspace in both a warning and advisory capacity. Motion cameras would also provide a visual direct link along the previously blindspotted side.

    Whenever a cyclist moves into this blindspot, a mainframe augmented system initiates.

    Then a Big bastard comedy clown boxing glove comes out of the side of the vehicle and twats the cyslist for being a twat....and the motion guided cameras can record it for youtube.
     
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  6. It's kids on mopeds that I'd love to ban, the dirty jobless paupers.
     
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  7. Cyclists need to learn a few simple facts of life

    If you set yourself down the left hand side of a commercial vehicle that is turning left it is going to squash you

    Red traffic lights apply to cyclists too

    Roundabouts are one way, it isn't a good idea to ride around them in the wrong direction just because its early o'clock and you aren't expecting somebody coming around it in the right direction

    Steel is a lot harder than flesh, if you try to outmanoeuvre it and slot between vehicles you are going to get hurt.

    Lycra is not going to save your life when it comes into contact with a motor vehicle
     
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  8. When they pay road tax , ill give them a cars length of space
     
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  9. "Hark, the sound of something operating at very, very high RPM, yet moving very slowly"

    They can **** off. Either get a proper motorcycle, or get the bus.

    And cyclists. One of my neighbours works for the local council, and he goes to work on his mountain bike. Fair do's. It's the lycra-clad, leg-shaving, Audi-owning twats who think they're Bradley Wiggins that piss me off.
     
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  10. Cyclists usually do pay road tax Turbo. It's for the cars we leave at home when we're on our bikes.
     
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  11. Right, it's my patent so hands off!



    I give you……… the SOI Patent Urban Safety Truck!


    [​IMG]

    All trucks are fitted with a dozer blade to sweep all the lycra clad cnuts off the road and dump them safely in the gutter.
     
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  12. Well use the car then, and get your moneys worth.
     
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  13. Conversely, as an ex-truck driver, I've designed this bike for all cyclists to ride.

    bike.jpg
     
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  14. If they didn't ride like dicks they would live a lot longer.

    I assume they plan to power the safer urban lorry on lentils and copies of The Independent. As far as I can see anyone on the road and not paying road tax and insurance has no right to bleat about anything to do with road use.
     
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