Let cyclists design lorries...

#1
#2
Simple solution to cyclists and lorries?

Keep your stupid bikes and your even more stupid lycra clad arses out of the way of lorries.



Don't be the meat in the sandwich - it REALLY is that simple.
 
#4
Simple solution to cyclists and lorries?

Keep your stupid bikes and your even more stupid lycra clad arses out of the way of lorries.
A snow-blower attachment is NOT an acceptable means of preventing cyclists from being dragged under lorries.
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#5
Cyclists can **** off.

Anyone who is in any doubt as to why they keep getting squashed should take a short drive along the Embankment between 5 and 6pm.
 
#6
How about a heat sensor that is mounted along the left hand side of the truck, to detect any human movement in the space between the truck and the kerb. This would be managed by a GPS enabled positioning system and intergrated into the drivers workspace in both a warning and advisory capacity. Motion cameras would also provide a visual direct link along the previously blindspotted side.

Whenever a cyclist moves into this blindspot, a mainframe augmented system initiates.

Then a Big bastard comedy clown boxing glove comes out of the side of the vehicle and twats the cyslist for being a twat....and the motion guided cameras can record it for youtube.
 
#8
Cyclists need to learn a few simple facts of life

If you set yourself down the left hand side of a commercial vehicle that is turning left it is going to squash you

Red traffic lights apply to cyclists too

Roundabouts are one way, it isn't a good idea to ride around them in the wrong direction just because its early o'clock and you aren't expecting somebody coming around it in the right direction

Steel is a lot harder than flesh, if you try to outmanoeuvre it and slot between vehicles you are going to get hurt.

Lycra is not going to save your life when it comes into contact with a motor vehicle
 
#10
It's kids on mopeds that I'd love to ban, the dirty jobless paupers.
"Hark, the sound of something operating at very, very high RPM, yet moving very slowly"

They can **** off. Either get a proper motorcycle, or get the bus.

And cyclists. One of my neighbours works for the local council, and he goes to work on his mountain bike. Fair do's. It's the lycra-clad, leg-shaving, Audi-owning twats who think they're Bradley Wiggins that piss me off.
 
#12
Right, it's my patent so hands off!



I give you……… the SOI Patent Urban Safety Truck!




All trucks are fitted with a dozer blade to sweep all the lycra clad cnuts off the road and dump them safely in the gutter.
 
#15
If they didn't ride like dicks they would live a lot longer.

I assume they plan to power the safer urban lorry on lentils and copies of The Independent. As far as I can see anyone on the road and not paying road tax and insurance has no right to bleat about anything to do with road use.
 
#17
Well use the car then, and get your moneys worth.
Hmmm, you don't live in a town do you? I do, it's a **** off big one and it takes me less than half the time to commute by bike than it would by bike. I'm lucky though, most of the junctions I have to get across are designed for bikes so I can get in front of the murdering Lithuanian truck driving bastards.

I also don't have a lardy car drivers body so I look ******* great in phys kit every day.
 
#18
Cyclists need to learn a few simple facts of life

If you set yourself down the left hand side of a commercial vehicle that is turning left it is going to squash you

Red traffic lights apply to cyclists too

Roundabouts are one way, it isn't a good idea to ride around them in the wrong direction just because its early o'clock and you aren't expecting somebody coming around it in the right direction

Steel is a lot harder than flesh, if you try to outmanoeuvre it and slot between vehicles you are going to get hurt.

Lycra is not going to save your life when it comes into contact with a motor vehicle
Its easier for them just to buy a car. They even start shouting because I dont give them any road space on my nearside DESPITE the cyle path being on the ******* pavement!
 
#19
Cyclists usually do pay road tax Turbo. It's for the cars we leave at home when we're on our bikes.
I am glad the OP does not do my tax return for me. "Road tax" was abolished by Churchill in 1937. it's been called Vehicle Excise Duty for much of the last 75 year or so and it's based on emissions so next time you try and punt a cyclist off the road, better aim off towards any low emission vehicles too, cause they dont pay none neither.

Preferably the mong Prius' that adorn the middle lane of many of our motorways.

In fact the money to build and fix the roads comes from your council tax (for local roads) and the highways agency budget from general taxiation (for trunk routes and motorways). As a high band tax payer I contribute more than most people towards this, so kindly stay off my road, particularly the BMW lane. I'll be in the German Saloon flashing my headlights repeatedly. Thanks.
 
#20
Always use one of these to help the little dears move out of the way



..although no other vehicle may wish to be a slow in front driver either
 

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