Lest we Septics Be Seen As Too Serious All the Time

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by jumpinjarhead, Oct 3, 2009.

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  1. From my wife of 40 years (39 or so of which have been relatively happy!):

    A little smile to start your day!

    You can't read this and stay in a bad mood!

    1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
    Unique Up On It.

    2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
    Tame Way.

    3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest ?
    They Take The Psychopath

    4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
    You Boil The Hell Out Of It

    5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?

    6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?


    7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
    A Stick

    8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?

    Nacho Cheese.

    9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
    Subordinate Clauses.

    10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
    Quatro Cinco.

    11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
    Spoiled Milk.

    12. Wh at Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?

    13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
    A Nervous Wreck.

    14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
    Anyone Can Roast Beef.

    15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
    Right Where You Left Him.

    16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
    Because They Have Big Fingers.

    17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
    Because It Scares The Dog.

    18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?

    19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover ?!
    The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

    20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
    Because They Wore Their Belt Buckles On Their Hats.

    21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
    A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack , Dang!A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.

    22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
    Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer

    Now, admit it . . at least one of these made you smile.
  2. I don't know about you, but from my perspective, too "serious" is not what the septics are seen as. :roll: :p
  3. Point taken--I should have made it reader option-fill in the blank with preferred pejoration! Good catch. :D
  4. Porridge_gun

    Porridge_gun LE Good Egg (charities)

    Now we know why Benny Hill was so popular and why you bought a bridge :D

  5. It is sad I admit. In my defens(c)e however, I note that this was originally posted at the insistence of, to cite another septic favorite of BBC--Rumpole of the Bailey--SHE WHO MUST BE OBEYED. Some of you other 40 year veterans will know what I mean. :wink:
  6. I spent two great years living in the US, at the behest of her Majesty. A great country and they were very funny jokes.

  7. Nice to see something in the NAAFI that made me smile and that didn´t involve bodily fluids, walt hunting or chav bashing. Perhaps we should rename it Sandes.
  8. Oh f*ck it, I can´t resist lowering the tone.

    Why do Americans like doggy style so much?

    Because they can both watch the Nas Car.
  9. Mate owns a Harley, I liked 19, going to use it tout suite.
  10. Some of JJ's taps had me sniggering a lot, I must admit, but this has flummoxed me a bit:
    Anybody who even thinks of "fückin' t'ickie Micks" is gonna get a visit from some hoogely large rellis of mine, who youse really don't want to fück with. So be very careful what youse answer! :D :D :D

  11. One that might fit in with your better half's sense of humour (humor).

    Q:What do you call a dog with a short tongue?

    A:Smelly balls.

    :arrow: Getting my coat on.
  12. Someone got the Christmas crackers out early?!
  13. Glad you enjoyed it! I do like your signature--the precise ethos I demanded of my officers. We summarized it with the admonition:

    "Officers are last in the chow line (queue)."
  14. You had me worried J with your last high brow post. BTW, it is NASCAR (no space). :lol:
  15. Septics with a sense of humour? An oxymoron surely?