Discussion in 'Health and Fitness' started by Jorrocks, Jan 21, 2010.

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  1. Hello chaps, I´m thinking of taking up running. I´ve been doing some research into this, and I´ve come up with a plan whereby I put on some running shoes (remembering to tie the laces properly before setting out), check it´s not raining and that I´m not in Haiti, say goodbye to mummy and set off down the road. The idea is that I put one foot in front of the other, then spring forward off the leading foot and repeat this process as quickly as possible until I am out of breath/feel ill/die (whichever occurs first). My question is, which foot should I start with, left or right?
  2. I larfed :p
    You just know someone is going to hit it though
  3. Decisions decisions.....I feel your pain.
  4. I tried this but I kept getting problems at the beginning. I mean, no one has ever explained to me what colour trainers are best for running. I though black and silver, but my mate said white and red.

    Which are best?
  5. RiflemanTom

    RiflemanTom Old-Salt Book Reviewer

    Personally I'd alternate it each day so as not to wear one trainer out before the other as this can cause blisters and knee strain. Oh and red trainers ars scientifically proven to make you go faster up hill.
  6. I usually set off with my right foot, as that's where the accelerator is :)
  7. You have an accelerator in your foot?
  8. Doesn't everyone??
  9. It never ceases to amaze me the amount of damn right stupid questions that appear on this website! :x

    Everone knows that if you hang to the left, you start with your right foot, and visa versa. This is due to the oscillations set up by you bellend smacking against your thigh, causing a ripple effect to run down your leg and damage your trainers!

    What is more important than colour is the waffle on your sole! You have to leave the correct imprints in mud when running, much like the old Clarks Commandos as worn at school! :)
  10. The_Duke

    The_Duke LE Moderator

    Chocolate milkshake is the answer. Get yourself to one of those specialist sports shops and pay well over the odds for some chocolate milkshake. If you don't like chocolate, I understand that they do it in other flavours too.

    The consumption of this milkshake after ostentatious shaking in a brightly coloured, logo encrusted bottle will give you the speed of a Jamaican sprinter coupled with the endurance of a Kenyan long distance runner.

  11. RiflemanTom

    RiflemanTom Old-Salt Book Reviewer

    In theory yes and perfectly good advice for Infantry soldiers, but if you're in a support role, such as AGC or the Navy for instance, then your penis will of course be correspondingly small and will not generate enough oscilations to play an active role in your running style. In this instance I'd advise getting a bike.
  12. Bugger knew I was doing something wrong,
  13. Do I have to bounce forward with both feet then?
  14. You´ve answered the wrong stupid question I think.
  15. The_Duke

    The_Duke LE Moderator

    No you fool, the answer to any question about how to improve sporting performance is always "special milkshakes" :D