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Leaving the wife and kits

I no longer want to be with my wife. She has really changed for the worse over the years. I've been thinking of leaving her for some time now but I've been reluctant as we have 2 small kids and I'm really fearful of the impact it will have on them and I will miss the 2 of them like crazy. Help and advice needed.
Have you thought of perhaps killing her and saying to people she went away somewhere ? Kidnapping the kids is another valid idea ? Maybe you are slightly dark skinned and have family abroad that will hide the kids for you ?
My advice would be to not come to ARRSE to ask for advice on something that is so deeply personal unless you are happy to take the inevitable banter/ abuse.

However you mention that you have been thinking about this for some time but have you spoken to your wife about this to try and resolve your issues? If you leave her there is the possibility that you end up missing out on your kids if she goes loopy and punishes you by ceasing your contact with them - you'll then have to fight a court case to get contact which if she really wants to she will ignore anyway (you will be better placed to know the likely reaction if you leave). But if life is so unbearable with her then you also have to weigh up the impact on your kids of having 2 parents tearing strips out of each other relentlessly while they try to grow up.
Dear Auntie Arrse,
I have been married for 45 (forty ******* five) years and no longer have the stirring in my loins I used to 44 years ago. I am going to break up with her as there is a 19 year old living near me who, I think, has the hots for me. Well, she often comes up and tucks my blanket in for me and brings me hot tea now and again so I really think she is going to let my have my wicked way if I can remember what my wicked way was. With the missus's arthritis and dodgy knee, doggystyle is out which is a real bummer as is her going on top which, after having smoked for the last 50 years, means I don't get all wheezy and expend too much energy. Even on the odd occasions a hard on comes my way she is usually out shopping and I feel it a waste to let such an opportunity go by.
It's also going to be cheaper as we will get two medium state pensions instead of one ******* small one. She can then claim benefits as a single person.
I will not miss my kids. One is 43 and the other 40. They still pester me for money and the bank of Mum and Dad is starting to run dry. I keep telling them that, at their age, I'd already done 22 years in the Army and it's about time they stood on their own ******* feet but something big they can't afford suddenly comes up (holidays for the kids, school uniforms, day out at McDonalds etc) and out comes the begging bowl again.
So, Auntie Arrse, should I simply up sticks and **** off? Or should I hang on in the hope that, one day, my kids will grow up and support themselves and a miracle cure for arthritis comes along and we are back to 69ers and doggystyle?
(PS I would have written to a real agony aunt or gone and seen a marriage guidance counsellor but I'm too ******* idle).
Get someone else to get off with her, paying them if necessary, and catch them at it in bed. This gives you the moral upper ground in court. You may even find a volunteer or two on this site.

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