I have to write one in the near future and it got me thinking, does anyone have any funny oneliners or other 'general' amusing anecdotes that could be used for all and sundry? I really don't want to go down the old line of (and I hear it at a lot of leaving functions) 'Sgt's Mess is the backbone of the British Army' and then the picking out of individuals, if you know them that well, for ridicule (going around the table saying 'remember when...'). All very good, but all very much done to death. A comprehensive 'This is my life' from the moment I walked in to the recruiting office is also bound to get people doing good 'nodding dog' impressions. Thoughts and ideas appreciated, plus any of the usual cr*p posted as well of course!