Leaving Gift

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by TA_sig, Aug 10, 2005.

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  1. Right I finish my time with current employer soon and it's been a bit of a crap day so I need the creative power of ARRSE to assist with ideas as to what kind of 'leaving gift' I could leave my former collegues/boss' drawer with. Current thoughts are faily mundane things along the lines of kipppers in the vents, soap/turd in microwave, lagging in the kettle and other such shenanigans * .

    Go nuts.

    *purely fantasty of course. I wouldn't dream of actually doing anything disruptive/illegal. (incase ISG bods are monitoring this).
     
  2. Rim the receptionists tea mug
     
  3. Cling Film over the toilet?
     
  4. Prawns behind their radiator.

    It works, I have done it before.
     
  5. Have a slatch in the guvnor's tea mug, swill it round, empty out and leave to dry.....Result!
     
  6. Black powder in his rolling baccy
     
  7. P1ss in his steam iron
     
  8. Rod924

    Rod924 LE Reviewer

    Get on t'internet and contact one of those Al Qaeda sites and order a 'pre packed rucksack', colour of your choice of course.

    Then on your last day, whilst they are all gathered round for your leaving do speech you can say "who wants to hear my monotone basil brush impression". No that me old china, IS a mo-fo of a leaving prezzie

    Oh fcuk it, I'll get me coat
     
  9. Fill the toilet cistern with bubble bath or if you can get hold of it fire fighting foam.
     
  10. Get his pet dog, jam it upside down in a vice and hacksaw its legs off. Replace the legs on his office recliner with those off his mutt. Use the remainder of the mongral to create an effective foot stool.....

    If he hasnt got a dog... try his eldest child? :D
     
  11. Far to easy try sliding prawns in the curtain turnups, in fact get a large frozen bag and secrete around the gaff you have a couple of days before they ripen!
     
  12. You’re all amateurs.
    Move his desk to one side. Then take a knife and cut a large square out of the carpet area his desk normally covers.
    Remove the square you’ve just cut and take a big juicy terd in the newly revealed floor area.
    Replace the carpet square, covering the terd. Replace the desk.

    His office will smell like your starfish and he wont have a clue as to where to look.