leadership training as a civvie

Discussion in 'Jobs (Discussion)' started by ugly, Apr 13, 2006.

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  1. ugly

    ugly LE Moderator

    I have just endured a 3 day mandatory residential trg course with the most irritating aussie bird instructing me. So many new words that mean nothing and I mean it I wrote loads down and ran them through a Thesaurus. Not one had any meaning. Worst thing is as a technical expert (my boss' words) I have no staff reporting to me so the 3 days was wasted. So at the end when she asked what we got from the course I resisted the urge to say "feck all!" instead I explained that whilst the course was on no use whatsoever to me in my job, I now know where my Boss gets his buzzwords and bull from and will now use them to wind him up!
    I ask you, situational leadership, congruent, self actualisation, Silos, ephemeral contextagreement frame, deconstructive, Ego states. I ran the list of with the no thesaurus reference next to each wordc and a request that we remember the Crystal charter mark for plain english that the company was awarded 4 years ago and see if we still deserved it? Maybe putting the sheet on the instructors desk was a bad move but what to do on a course with no test, video clips from the apprentice, long speeches about the importance of big brother and the rest of the class either being so in line or completely "I love to empathise with my team!"
    If I was more lucid I could have vomited! What a waste of money!
  2. Most of terminology you have listed is from psychology.
  3. My boss is a 12 year ex-bootie and spent his last few years in the SBS. They are sending him on a mangement confidance and leadership course. The look of complete disinterst on his face is class.
  4. We employed a guy who had six years as RM RSM behind him. My personnel people wanted to send him on the standard-for-all-employees self assertiveness course. I managed to 'speak' to them before they suggested it to him.
  5. did staff on some leadership exercise the charity I worked for mostly worked with youth but did corparte team building to raise
    funds and for laughs.
    american express sent a team of managers who failed at command style tasks chav 12yr olds had succeded at yesterday as they spent so long talking without making any decison even when promteted:)
    NHS trust managers got to do raft building in march not exactly warm weather (guess they'd upset someone) rafts were built succesfully two teams a race except one team suffered a catastrophic sense of humour failure and went at each other with paddles :)
    these are suppoused adults with responsible jobs
    I'm open to the arguement building a raft has fcuk all to do with managing a budget but volunteering to turn up you should be able to hold your anger in check until the pub opens.
    plus pasty faced manager types fight like girls anyway starting a fight on a raft not the brightest of moves.
  6. ugly

    ugly LE Moderator

    I wondered if it was some sneak reality tv trick that was going to be sprung on me but everyone bar me seemed to be enjoying it and doing work long after I had hit the bar! By midday day 2 I was ready to go back to work. Sad waste of money! I had a similar difficult to selfmotivate daythe week before when my boss stopped me from attending a technical presentation that would really have been useful for a 5 hour ear bending on people based safety bollocks from some yank consultant. Wrist slitting time! I wonder if anyone wants to see my notes or course book when I get back. I'll have to go back to the bin outside the classroom then!
  7. You should have gone with him- with a video camera. You could have made a small fortune selling copies of the tape to the rest of us. :D
  8. Does anyone remember that TV program "The Crystal Maze" hosted by that mincer type Richard O'brien? I remember watching that and seeing all of these civi office wallahs frantically running around from place to place, all trying to gob off at the same time, and consequently getting none of the tasks achieved, and embarrassing themselves thoroughly. I wondered, where do they find these ********* to go on this show!?

    Sadly, it appears that most of them have been spending too much time on these leadership and self assertivness courses.... :D
  9. Real Hot Buttons
    True Linear Thinking
    Complete Personal Involvement
    Target Rich Enviroment
    Classless Personality Approach
    Sales Grazing

    During a 'Team Destruction' weekend the up his own backside 26 year old instructor was recorded as mentioning all of theses wonderful ditties over three hundred times :x Six of us had been in the forces for at least 10 years and this toerag is telling us the basics of dealing with people and situations under stress. :evil:
    Result..........Boss spoken to and said instructor removed from next course. Good job, probably might have been filled in by less understanding students. :wink:
    26 years old and had thought that he had done it all because of his geography degree from Bristol. Sad really 8O 8O

    fastmedic...................still not motivated :twisted:
  10. I was forced to attend one on "Appraisal" filled with buzzwords and this testiculating woman (waving her arms about and speaking absolute b0llocks) who attempted to address us on leadership.I decided to regurgitate all I had ever been taught on the subject contradicting (with authority) all that she was expostulating.

    Result-tears(on her part) and course abandoned half an hour early :lol: I have not been asked back
  11. As part of the now defunct BS 5750, we had various training days (All of which were shat, apart from the free lunch) on group task was list the items you'd need on a desert island to survive, a maximum of ten. Now not been to dumb i said "Lofty wiseman, Knows everything and could kill you with a spoon!" which didn't go down to well with the trainer. But I kept to my guns, "Lofty wiseman, Knows everything and could kill you with a spoon!" bets the fcuk of of "Plastic sheeting" "String" and other such piffle. In house company training days, better off throwing a sicky…
  12. A speed boat, plenty of fuel, a Sat phone, a supermarket, plenty of money to spend in it and a very fit companion to share it with, just for starters.

    Trainers never like it when you think outside the box unless, especially when that was the point they were trying to make. It is not hard to make like difficult for them if you think like a squaddie